Hour Lost
by YamatosLair
Summary: When Usagi loses her life in an accident, Mamoru tries to find out the truth. Was she killed by a new enemy? What are the others hiding?
1. Default Chapter

_**Disclaimer: **Sailor Moon and all the other characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi and her publisher Kodansha. I don't own them, please don't sue. hides under the table _

_**Author : **Yamato __Draco4gmx.de_

_**Titel **: Hour Lost_

_**Rating : **PG-13_

_**Spoiler :** Basically for the whole series, because this story takes place one year after the stars season._

_**Genre: **Mystery/Dark Story_

_**Summary : **When Usagi loses her life in an accident, Mamoru tries to find out what really happened. Was she killed by a new enemy? What are the others hiding?_

_**Warning:** Character Death. And since English is not my native language I can't guarantee for my spelling and grammar to be correct at all times. sighs_

_**Couples:** Basically I stick to the ones on the show. (Mamoru/Usagi, Haruka/Michiru) But Mamoru might have a little affair with a minor character._

_**To be continued: **Yes, but I don't know yet how many chapters there are going to be._

_**Feedback:** Please leave a review or send me a mail to __Draco4gmx.de__. I will ignore all flames._

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Prologue

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She had caught a butterfly; carefully she folded her palm around him. All she wanted to do was look at him. Butterflies were always fluttering around so fast; you could never see how their wings looked. She was waiting for him to calm down, but he kept struggling in her hand. If he went on, he would rub off all of his color, and wouldn't be able to fly anymore.

Someone had told her once, that every butterfly was the spirit of a Sailor Senshi, since girls' hearts have wings. And making a girl's heart unable to fly was a crime.

So finally she let go. She watched him flutter away into the sunlight, until he was only a bright spot in the sky. She was wondering if he could fly all the way up to heaven. Probably yes! They seemed like beings from a different world anyway, so beautiful and so fragile.

She looked at her hand; some of the color had actually rubbed off. It looked strange on her hands, it did not belong there. Her hands seemed strange too, like they didn't belong to her either.

She looked up, and suddenly the sky seemed darker. Or maybe not darker, more like it had changed its color. But it was still blue. The sun was still shining.

Everything around her felt strange, like it was not real. She started to run, but she had the feeling she wasn't moving. It was like reality itself suddenly had gotten a crack? The places she had been to, the people she knew, did they really exist? Or were they just part of her imagination? She let out a scream! She had to get home at once; all she wanted to do was to crawl under her blanket to make this nightmare end. Nightmare?

Suddenly she realized what was wrong, it was the feeling you have when you're waking from a dream. As long as you dream, everything makes perfect sense to you. As soon as you start waking up, it all gets weird.

"Why don't you go back to sleep, my little one? Everything's all right, you only had a bad dream. Everything will be fine"

The voice was so comforting, so familiar. Although she felt far too drowsy to recognize it, she knew it belonged to a friend. At least she was sure it did! It had to be! All she wanted was to return to her dream, which hadn't been a nightmare at all. In her dream, she was a princess. She was a Sailor Senshi, fighting for love and justice. She was a schoolgirl, and had to get up early.

"Shshsh," said the voice again, who wasn't her mother. "You don't have to get up yet. Everything will be fine!"

Any moment in our life we make choices that alter the future. Any moment, something we wouldn't have expected might happen. Something we take for granted might shatter. A future we've already seen might never take place.

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Hour Lost

By Yamato

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	2. Remembrance

Chapter 1 – Remembrance 

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He had been sitting there for hours, just staring out of the window. Whatever was out there, he didn't see it. He simply didn't care. His own mind seemed to him like a bottomless pit. He fell; there was nothing to hold onto and no way to stop. It couldn't be real. But he knew it was.

It seemed strange to Mamoru, that he didn't feel any pain, although he perfectly knew, that Rei had told him the truth. Everything inside him was numb, like someone feels the moment after a strike, being only seconds away from the pain. The fact that he was only on the brink of conciousness, didn't make it seem less real. He couldn't grasp a clear thought, but neither could he conceal the truth inside this mist of emptiness.

He had known something was terribly wrong the very moment she stood on his doorstep. And he had guessed the truth before she had spoken it out aloud. There had been an accident she said, there was nothing they could have done. While she told him everything, she seemed strangely calm.

"You can call me", she had said after he had asked her to leave. "We're all at my place; none of us wants to be alone tonight. We're not going to school tomorrow either."

They were right about staying together. It couldn't make things easier, but it was something to hold onto. Clinging to each other would keep them from falling.

A long time ago, it had gotten dark outside, but he saw no need to turn on the light. What did he want to look at anyway? A home that wasn't a home anymore? It would never be the same. Without Usako his life was empty. Nothing would ever make sense again.

The ring at the door startled him, an unpleasant sound cutting through the darkness. After a while, the bell rang again and then he heard someone unlock the door. Not a hard guess. Only two more people had a key to his apartment and one of them was dead.

"Go away, Motoki-kun," he said, as his best friend turned on the light. "Leave me alone!"

Motoki slowly walked across the room and sat down on the couch, facing Mamoru. "Make me!"

Mamoru jumped up "Get out!" he yelled. "I'm not telling you again!"

Motoki stood up too and grabbed Mamoru's shoulders. His voice was dangerously soft, growing louder as he spoke "Now listen! You can yell around as much as you want! Hit me, if that makes you feel better! But I am not leaving! I won't leave you alone tonight! Got that?" He almost screamed the last words. "I wanna know if you understood me!"

Mamoru nodded. "Good," said Motoki and sat back down again. For a while they stared at each other in silence.

"Afraid I was gonna jump out the window?" Mamoru scowled at him.

"Damn straight!" Motoki didn't take his eyes off, and Mamoru was the first one to look away. For the next few minutes neither one spoke, until Mamoru finally asked him:"Who told you?"

"Rei did. She called me up, and told me to come over! I would have anyway!"

"Motoki-kun, I can't talk about this! I just can't!"

His thoughts wandered off to the pictures on his desk, in the other room. His parents, Usako, Chibi-Usa. Memories. Not even complete ones. Would Chibi-Usa vanish from the pictures, now that she would never be born?

He was afraid to check. The mere thought made him shiver.

He reached for the remote. "Probably they bring something about it on the news. I should have thought of that earlier."

"Do you really think this is a good idea?"

"I want to know." He skipped through the channels. Finally he found a program on the science channel with a self-important scientist talking about vulcanic activity on the Japanese islands during the last ten years.

"Contrary to the opinion of my honored collegues, I am not utterly convinced that the earthquake taking place in East Tokyo during the early morning hours of today was exclusivly caused by vulcanic activity." He waved a paper showing a few mathematic functions.

"Yeah right!" was Motoki's comment. "It was the aliens! It's about time we got our own Area 51"

The scientist now showed something else, the computer graphics of an explosion. "If we assume, a small nuclear explosion took place about several miles below the surface, the outcome would match exactly that of an earthquake this strengh."

"Yeah right," Motoki said again. "Looks like they're dropping some more bombs on us."

"Do you know this guy?" Mamoru suddenly wanted to know.

"Tanaka Ichiro. He does teach at the University now and then, but I was fortunate enough never to have him as a teacher in any of my classes. He's a little weird, you know. He always has these crazy theories about government conspiracies."

In fact Tanaka was now talking about a secret testing of nuclear weapons. Mamoru turned off the TV. The sudden silence felt like the attack of an enemy.

At the Hikawa Shinja no one was asleep, save for Minako, who lay curled up next to Makoto with her head resting in the other girl's lap and her face still showing streaks from tears. The others sat on the tatami mats, huddled around the fireplace. Ami was desperately clinging to a book she had not even once looked at, but she wouldn't let go either.

Rei stared into the flames. The fire, a friend that had often brought her comfort, seemed as lifeless as everything around her. She couldn't remember any time in her life when she had felt so lost and alone before. Yet the others looked to her for guidance. They expected her to tell them what to do, as if she knew it for herself.

She envied Minako for her easy tears. Tears melted the cold grip inside your chest. But somehow she didn't want that grip to melt just yet.

If she had been there one moment earlier, just one moment...

A noise ripped her from her thoughts, painfully loud in the silent room. Ami's book had dropped to the ground.

Ami covered her face with both hands and Makoto put her free arm around her, pulling her close. Minako stirred in her sleep.

Something inside Rei wanted to go over to them, feel the warmth of their bodies, and the comfort of their presence. But she couldn't bear the thought of being touched; she knew that she would crack like thin ice and crumble to dust. And the others needed her. She couldn't allow herself to break, not just now.

She got up and walked over to them, hugging Ami, who cried without a sound; her body shaken wildly by sobs.

Minako slowly opened her eyes in disbelief. It had not been a nightmare, it was real.

With all of a sudden Makoto jumped up, racing to the wall. Again and again, she smashed her fist into the wood.

"It's not fair!" she yelled. "How could she leave us alone? It's not fair!"

She fell to the ground, as if someone had pulled her legs away. Her hand was bleeding. Ami and Minako clung to eacher other, trembling.

Rei wrapped her handkerchief around Makoto's hand and led her back to the fireplace. Indifferently, almost like a puppet Makoto let everything happen to her. It was like the real Makoto was far away from them and could not be reached.

"Listen," Rei said, shaking Makoto until her eyes went clear again. "Listen to me, all of you!" She stretched out her arms placing her hands right over the flames. "I want you to make a promise now. I want you to promise that you never, no matter what the circumstances might be … that you never tell Mamoru what happened last night. No, not promise, I want you to swear it. Not to me, not to yourself, this is a vow, we all give to her. Anyone who breaks it dishonors not only herself but her remembrance."

"I swear!" Makoto's hands were first.

"Cross my heart and hope to die!" That was Minako.

"To Usagi-chan!" Ami was the only one who dared to speak the name aloud. It sounded like a magical spell.

For a long while they stood silently around the flames, holding hands, and letting their thoughts drift. And for just a short moment all the pain and the loneliness faded. They all felt the same; it was like she had joined their midst for an instant.

4


	3. Precautions

Chapter 2 - Precautions  
  
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It was a cool sunny September morning. The first thing Mamoru did, was to get a few papers. Motoki had gone to sleep on the couch, shortly before daylight. They hadn't talked much last night, only the TV had been running again to fight the silence.  
  
There really were two short articles on the eartquake, and even a longer one. They simply stated the facts, three people killed, a few more injured, a few of the old warehouses in East Tokyo partly destroyed. Since it had been a Sunday morning, in an industrial area, the place was pretty much deserted. Two of the victims had been workers, the third one was a seventeen-year-old girl, who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  
  
But it was nothing spectacular really. Earthquakes weren't that uncommon, and there had been much bigger ones during the last few years. Like the one where the subway tunnel broke, and more than eighty people had to be rescued from the train. Or the one downtown, that shook a few skyscrapers. The longer article also contained some kind of survey, on areas especially endangered, and how you could make your home more secure.  
  
That was all. No pictures, no names. It was less than what Rei had told him. He rembered her visit clearly although the rest of the day was a grey mist inside his head.  
  
Her story sounded perfectly plausible. For a long time the Senshi had been using the storehouses- most of them empty anyway, as a training ground. The practise was only routine, after the defeat of Galaxia no new dangers had appeared. It seemed like peace was finally stable on earth. But you could never know, of course, so staying in shape was necessary. In a way it was almost sarcastic. A girl who had saved the earth many times, was killed by something as simple as a natural catastrophy. A girl who loved to sleep in late, got up before dawn, trying to fulfill her duties and had to pay for it.  
  
"It was an accident", Rei had said, "there was nothing we could do. We weren't in the same place when the earthquake began. I was right outside the hall she was in, but I didn't know at that time. The ground trembled and there was stuff falling from the roof, so I opened the door to get under the door frame.  
  
Then I heard her scream, and I ran inside. I called the others over the communicator, and they came in a few minutes later, but I was the first one to reach her. Some barrels had gotten loose, they had fallen right on top of her. Together we could lift the barrels off her, but it was too late."  
  
When she told him, she seemed strangely calm. After she was done, he asked her to leave, he wanted to be alone now. That was the point where yesterday had faded into nothingness.  
  
Later that day he called Usagi's parents. In a polite way, but nevertheless firmly her father told him, that they did not wish to speak with him now. It didn't surprise him. Parents who lost their daughter have other things on their mind.  
  
He went into his bedroom. The pictures on the desk hadn't changed in any way. In a way he had lost a daughter, too. Looking at her felt so strange now, now that he would never see her again. Actually she had never really existed, only in his memories, and those of the Sailor Senshi.  
  
Had Chibi-Usa simply vanished? Or did she live in a different timeline? In a parallel universe? To answer that question, you had to understand what time really was, and so far no one did. Perhaps Setsuna would know. The guardian of time knew more about its secrets than anyone else did.  
  
***  
  
Rei felt extremely sorry for disturbing Usagi's family, nevertheless she had to get into her friend's room. She had to make sure, no one found out anything about Usagi's secret identity. That would only raise more questions, and also endanger the identities of the other Senshi. They were vulnerable enough without Sailor Moon.  
  
She told Kenji she needed to get some school stuff Usagi had borrowed from her, and he let her in. Once in Usagi's room she closed the door behind her and took a deep breath.  
  
Yesterday had been a horrible day. They needed to make up a plausible story for the police, and had to make sure their depositions did not contradict. Fortunate enough no one suspected anything, and no one expected them to stay calm all the time. After all they had watched a friend die, and that was the truth, no matter what version of the story.  
  
As Rei stood in Usagi's room she realized yesterday was nothing compared to this. The pain gripped her almost instantly, it seemed like a physical hand knocking her down.  
  
The room was a chaos like always, books, clothes, even toys scattered everywhere on the floor. No one, who didn't know her, would believe that this room belonged to a seventeen-year-old.  
  
On her desk lay an unfinished drawing, with a bunch of colored pencils around. Usagi would never come back to finish it. She would never again read any of the manga piled up next to her pillow. She would never again wear her dark blue school uniform. And she had been so proud to pass the exams.  
  
Rei's eyes were locked on the uniform, it was ironed and neatly placed on a hanger. That was probably Ikuko's doing, after all she couldn't have known, that her daughter wouldn't need it anymore. It was impossible to imagine how she felt now, having raised a kid for almost twenty years, and then......  
  
Rei tried to fight it, tried to hold back the tears, she knew once they broke through, she could forget everything about keeping a cool head. She had an obligation towards the others, they relied on her. She could not let them down. What was worse, she could not let Usagi down.  
  
She already had Usagi's brouch and her communicator. In the bottom drawer of her desk was the transformation pen. Although it had lost its power long ago, she decided to take it with her, just to be sure.  
  
She could not possibly collect all the drawings, stories, manga and the other stuff Usagi had created about being a Senshi and a princess. That didn't really matter, no one would think them anything other than the imaginations of a creative young girl. No one would take them for real.  
  
It would be different with a diary. She knew that Usagi had kept one, and probably she would have mixed everyday-life-stories with her Sailor adventures.  
  
Where would she keep it? Even an untidy girl would attach great importance to something as private as a diary. The classical hideout would be somewhere near the bed, perhaps under the matress.  
  
There it was.A pink heart-shaped book with a lock. Now only one more thing was missing. The clock Usagi had recieved from Mamoru, a golden watch on a chain, shaped like a star. When you opened it, it played a sweet melody. How much she had loved it! It was a big surprise anyway, that she hadn't taken it with her, when she had left. So it had to be here. But where? She had already checked all the places a girl would hide private things.  
  
She didn't know for sure how that clock was connected to Usagi's secret identity, after all any girl could own gifts from her boyfriend. But she knew for sure it was a magic item. A miko could tell these things.  
  
"You alright?" Shingo looked into the room. She noticed that he had grown bigger than her. No wonder, he was already fifteen. She still remembered the little boy, who had played tricks on them. She had still thought of him as a little boy when she had dinner at Usagi's place about a week ago. Now he had grown.  
  
"No", she said as an answer to his question. "I'm not! But none of us is, I guess! But I got my stuff, if that's what you mean."  
  
They went downstairs. She was already out the door, when he called her back. "Say Rei-san!" She turned around.  
  
"I was wondering," he said a little embarassed, "like in a few weeks or months, when Mom feels a little better, I was wondering if you and the others could still come over some time. If you guys want to have tea with us, or something."  
  
She nodded "Sure." 


	4. Theories

Chapter 3 - Theories  
  
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Tanaka Ichiro. A weird scientist who claimed to know more about things. Aliens, secret weapons, gouvernmet conspiracies.  
  
Motoki wasn't too pleased, when Mamoru told him he had unfinished business to take care of. "Chill out," Mamoru said, trying to calm him down, "I'm not going to do anything stupid. If I did, I would tell you right in your face, and you couldn't stop me anyway. I don't see a point in lying about such things."  
  
He had found Tanaka's address in the phonebook. There were, of course, tons of Tanakas, but only one with a whole row of academic titles.  
  
He had thought about calling Tanaka, but actually he did not want Motoki to know. It seemed kind of silly. He wasn't sure himself what he expected from that guy. Even if he did know something about the earthquake. Did it really matter?  
  
It did. It mattered to him. It was hard enough to lose her like this, if there were any mysteries about her death, he wanted them solved. He didn't know, if Rei was keeping something from him, or if she simply didn't know more than she already told him. Maybe there were no mysteries, maybe he was chasing after something that did not exist. But at least he would find out.  
  
He called Tanaka from the car, but he got only the answering machine. He left a message, telling Tanaka that he had seen him on TV, and was interested in his theory about the earthquake.  
  
He drove to the given address, but there was no one there. It had taken him over two hours to get there but he didn't care. He didn't want to go home anyway. So he parked the car and waited. Tanaka had to come home sometime.  
  
His thoughts drifted again, something he did not want to happen. Thinking about her made him crazy. He knew that deep down inside there was still a part of him that hadn't realized she was gone yet. A part that hoped it was all some kind of misunderstanding, and it could be made clear. That was the reason, why he could still move, breathe, live. Once he fully understood, it was true, no, he could not say what would happen to him then.  
  
He pushed the thought away. It was better not to go home, where everything reminded him of her. It was better not to look at the pictures. Her eyes that could shine so bright, when she was happy. The scent of her hair.  
  
Her face so close, that their lips almost touched. She bent her head a little as if to get her nose out of the way, and came closer still. He could feel her warm breath on his cheek.  
  
Then everything went dark. The darkness crept up inside him like a poisenous snake. Like a black liquid it welled up on the inside of his eyes and blinded him. She was gone. No, she was still there but he couldn't see her any longer. He wanted to call her name but his voice did not obey him. He tried to scream, but it wasn't possible.  
  
He tried again, suddenly the scream came out and broke him free. His eyes flung open.  
  
He sat in his car in front of Tanaka's house. It was late afternoon, a little after 5 pm. He had not slept for over 30 hours, so it was no surprise that he had dozed off.  
  
He called Tanaka again, and this time he told him, that a friend of his had been killed because of the earthquake. He hadn't planned on saying it, his own voice sounded strange to him.  
  
His mind was perfectly clear now, although the memory of his dream still made him shiver. Two minutes later the phone rang. "Chiba Mamoru-san? This is Tanaka Ichiro speaking! I don't believe your friend's death to be an accident. I think she was murdered."  
  
Tanaka didn't live at the address in the phonebook, he owned the house, but it was simply a decoy. He was afraid, he said, he knew to much about things no one was supposed to know. His only chance, he stated, was to be careful, but still he had to talk to the public. So if something happened to him, people would know, that his theories had been right. They would ask questions.  
  
He asked Mamoru to come to a different place, to an appartment downtown, that belonged to 'a friend of a friend'. It looked like he had another two hour drive ahead of him. But he was glad, Tanaka would talk to him. He just wasn't sure what to make of all this.  
  
He parked the car in the parking house below, and took the lift up. 17th floor. He was supposed to ring the bell once, and knock on the door two times, so Tanaka knew it was him. Tanaka didn't believe him to be "an agent", as he stated it, since Mamoru had told him about Usagi. An agent of what? The gouvernment?  
  
"It's not exactly the gouvernment!", Tanaka explained. In real he looked older than on the screen and much smaller. A skinny old man, with a back that was slightly curved, and reddish eyes like a rat. He wasn't dressed, in a white coat, and he didn't have a weird laugh. Nevertheless a scientist.  
  
"At the beginning of this century a family of wealthy bankers founded a secret organisation in order to take the rulership of the world. Maybe you've heard of the Rothschilds."  
  
"Yes, I did," Mamoru said slightly annoyed. "They're the Illuminati, or something like that."  
  
Tanaka raised his forefinger. "You should not talk in such a careless way, about things of such great importance, young man. The Illuminati have been responsible for every war, in this century, including the two world wars and the cold war. They stand behind every influential gouvernment, and make sure the right people take the right seats. They murdered Trotzky, so Stalin could rule. They brought Hitler to power to test the alien technologies, they've achieved."  
  
"Aliens?" Mamoru asked doubtfully. He remembered what Motoki had said. "Like in Area 51?"  
  
Tanaka smashed a fist on the table. "Area 51 doesn't exist. After the cold war ended, they needed new things to get people focused on, to distract the public from their vicious plans. All this crab about people getting abducted by aliens. No, they wouldn't be stupid enough to let an outsider find out anything about the alien technologies, they possess."  
  
He took a deep breath. "In 1930 an alien spaceship landed in the Namibian desert, probably on a peace mission. THEY got there first, killed all the passengers, and took the ship to a secret hanger below the German capital Berlin. When World War II was lost, they brought it to another country, that was ally to Germany during that time to keep it safe."  
  
"You're talking about Japan?"  
  
He waved his hand, as if Mamoru was some kind of fly, he wanted to scare away. "Why, yes, of course Japan. Why did you think the Americans dropped none of their nuclear bombs on Tokyo? Probably wouldn't have hurt the ship anyway, but why take the risk?"  
  
"So you are saying, there is an Alien spaceship below Tokyo?"  
  
"There was! For over 50 years. To be exact, until last Sunday morning about 4a.m. That's when they started, and flew it off again."  
  
Mamoru had heard enough. Motoki was right, this man was really too weird. He decided to leave.  
  
"Well, that's not what you said on TV," he remarked, as he turned towards the door.  
  
Tanaka's look turned icy. "If I had said that on TV," he hissed, "I would be dead already, like that unfortunate friend of yours."  
  
"Leave her out of this!"  
  
"You don't believe me, do you? Nevertheless, it's the truth, I can prove it to you."  
  
"I am waiting!"  
  
"But it will take time. Let me explain!"  
  
Mamoru went back into the appartment, and sat down again. "Fine then, explain! I got nothing else to do anyway!"  
  
The rest of the story was even more unbelievable, than everything Tanaka had told before. Of course no one could have seen, or heard the ship, since it had a cloaking device. It hadn't broken up the earth, because it could move through solid rock, like through a liquid. The only noticable thing were a few shockwaves, as a small earthquake.  
  
"Well," sighed Mamoru, "just how do you think you can prove to me that this ship has ever existed?" "There might be a way. Certainly the ship can go almost six times faster than the light."  
  
"Certainly!"  
  
"Now you know that from an objective point of view, nothing can go as fast as the light. Lightspeed is the one absolute magnitude in our known universe. But time and space are not! So to us it would seem that the ship travelled backwards in time. It would reach its destination earlier, than it started. But on the ship itself, time would run normally. If someone had a clock on board, and travelled let's say for ten minutes, his clock would be about an hour ahead, compared to the clocks on earth, once he got off the ship."  
  
An hour ahead. Unfortunately for the professor, nobody had been kind enough to take that test, and show him the results. Mamoru looked at his watch. It was past midnight already, all he wanted to do was get home and sleep. The yearn for sleep was a pleasant feeling, it showed him, that he was alive, and made sure, he could keep his head were it belonged. The drive home would take all of his concentration. It was good that way.  
  
It was 3 a.m, when he reached his appartment. The day had been a lost one, since he hadn't gotten any new information. But from now on, all his days would be lost.  
  
Two messages on the answering machine. Saori wanted to know, if there was anything she could do for him.  
  
Rei asked him about the star-shaped clock, he had given to Usagi a long time ago. He had it, but why would she need it just now?  
  
He held the clock in his hands, the pretty golden star, that was as timeless as their love. He had given it to her, the day they died in the destruction of the Moon Kingdom. She had given it to him, the day they died in the final battle on earth. As he opened it, a sweet melody began to play. And as he looked at it, his face went pale.  
  
The clock was exactly 58 minutes ahead. 


	5. I mustn't fall

Chapter 4 - I mustn't fall  
  
-----------------  
  
The dream had come back.  
  
It was like in the dream where she had asked him to find the silver crystal. It was like in the dream, where his future self had told him to leave her. Again and again. It was the kind of dream, that kept coming back, until he fully understood its meaning.  
  
Usako's face! So close to his. She didn't speak, she was just smiling at him. But anytime he tried to touch her, he couldn't move. He wanted to hold her, but she vanished. The darkness was almost physical.  
  
It was not a good kind of darkness.  
  
* * *  
  
Tuesday morning. Time to go to school again.  
  
Rei stood at the corner and watched the others walk away. Going on with everyday-life was hard to imagine. But what should they say? They were the ones, who had to look at Usagi's empty chair all day. They were the ones who had to answer all the questions. This was the one thing, were she had the easier part, at least at school she wouldn't be reminded of Usagi all the time. And she did not have to talk to anybody about it. She could just push it away for a couple of hours.  
  
She wondered if they would be allright. Maybe it was a little too early. No, she thought to herself. They were Senshi, and they had to be strong like Senshi. Hiding at home and crying did no good.  
  
She was barely a block away, when suddenly a Ferarri stopped next to her. "Get in, Rei-san, we have to talk!"  
  
She swallowed hard and went to the other side to open the front seat door. This was definitly not good.  
  
"You've waited, until the others were gone," she said. It was a statement, not a question.  
  
"So? You're the one who's behind all this, after all! It's up to you, how this ends."  
  
"Am I? You're making it to easy for yourselves. Now as I told you guys already, we gave a vow to her. And it was all of us Inner Senshi, not just me! Actually we gave two vows. We promised, we would never tell him, and we promised, we would protect him for her, because she can't do it herself. Ask anyone else if you don't believe me. I told you before, and I'm telling you again we will not step back on that vow. Never!" Her voice broke, she had to gasp for air.  
  
"Is that your last word?"  
  
"This is our last word, yes."  
  
"Then there's nothing more to say between us."  
  
"Yes there is! You'll regret it!"  
  
"Big words for a little girl! You know what this means, don't you?"  
  
"I do. But we're not the ones who started it!"  
  
The Ferrari stopped in front of Rei's school, and Rei rushed out as fast as she could. "Once a war is running, nobody gives a damn, who started it!" the driver yelled after her.  
  
Rei turned around, but the car was already moving again. Too late. Next time they met, it would be as enemies.  
  
* * *  
  
The first thing Mamoru did, after he had chased away the last shadows of the dream, was to check the clock. Perhaps he had been so tired last night, that he had mixed something up. It was still incredible. The time the clock showed, was 4 o'clock, just like it had done last night. For one happy moment he thought, it simply had stopped some time during the last days, and he hadn't noticed it. But it was running! It was 3 in the afternoon, he had slept for twelve hours.  
  
Just to be sure, he checked if there was a way to move the hands. They were behind crystal, and it was not damaged. He didn't see a way to open up the body of the clock either. Well, if someone had a lot of patience, the right tools, and some knowledge of Silver Millenium clocks, it might be possible. But why would anyone want to do that?  
  
The fact remained, that something could be true about the things Tanaka had told him. Perhaps an alien enemy had attacked earth, it wouldn't have been the first time anyway, and the Senshi had gone to fight him. But how did his clock get on board of a spaceship? He hadn't been there! Had Usagi taken it with her? Did she go on some kind of secret mission and got killed there? What if she wasn't dead at all? If she was somewhere else with this ship? So many questions, and no answer to them.  
  
He was pretty sure, that Rei knew more than she had told him. He decided to pick her up from school.  
  
* * *  
  
The time in class had not kept Rei's thoughts busy, no matter how hard she had tried. At least, no one had noticed, that there was something wrong with her, so they had not bothered her with annoying questions.  
  
But now school was over, and soon she had tell the others what had happened. Together, they had to decide what to do. Probably they wanted her to make the decision. She did not want to. She was sick of making decisions. She was sick of it all. She....  
  
Mamoru's car. No, not him, too. He was really the last person on earth, she needed now. Quickly she stepped aside into the school's chapel hoping he had not seen her yet.  
  
Like many others Rei had never seen any contradication in being a Shintoist priestess, and going to a Catholic school. Her grandfather had always said, it was important for a priestess to know about all the different ways of religion. And faith was something too private to be determined only by different rituals. There was much more to it.  
  
The chapel was shaped like a cross, with the main altar in the front, and two smaller ones in the side ships. On the right altar stood a very old statue of the Virgin, the Portugese had brought it with them about 400 years ago.  
  
Rei scraped a couple of coins out of her pocket, and lit a candle. As she knelt down, she noticed the soft light of the candles shimmer on the honey- colored hair of the figure, making it look like pure gold.  
  
"Usagi," she whispered softly, trying to grasp a hold of the magic, the name evoked in her. "I don't know if you listen to me. But I need your help! I can't go on like this! I didn't want to yell at her! I was just so upset, and so was she. It was not a good time to talk, but what could we do? I don't want to fight them, it's just not right. Why can't you be here, you always said no one has to be sacrificed? You said, there is always a way to keep the peace. You shouldn't have gone out alone. You should have waited for us. Together we could have saved Mamoru, and you would still be alive. I try to take care of Mamoru and the others now, but I just don't have your strength.  
  
You know I always used to think, you weren't strong, because you cried so easily. Now, I know I was wrong. No matter how often you fell, you would always get back up. You would always try again, and again, and never give in, that's why you didn't fail. I don't want to fail you now. I know you can't give me any advice, but please, give me some of your strengh. I'm not like you! Once I break down, I won't be able to get back up. So I mustn't fall! I mustn't fall, Usagi, please. I beg of you, I mustn't fall. I don't want to fail you, Usagi-chan!  
  
Usagi-chan!"  
  
She couldn't stop her tears this time, but they were not the kind of tears she had feared. Not the ones that burst out and ripped everything with them. They were silent tears that kept running over her cheeks, they almost felt as if they didn't belong to her. Slowly her thoughts returned to the present. And almost instantly she realized, she wasn't alone.  
  
Mamoru sat on one of the benches, in the middle ship. As soon as he saw, that she had noticed him, he got up and walked towards her. She didn't wipe her cheeks, that would only attract his attention to the tears she did not want him to see.  
  
"I did not want to disturb you in such a private moment," he said. "But then, something inside me wanted to run over to you just then, wanted to grab you, and shake the truth from you. You lied to me and I want to know why."  
  
"You are very upset, and that's only natural," she answered, surprised by her own calmness. "But racking your brains about the same things over and over again, won't make it easier for you. You don't want to believe it, of course, none of us wants to believe it. But she is gone, and she's not coming back."  
  
"That's not the point!"  
  
"The point is, that you cannot accept the truth. You cling to every straw you can find, you fill your head with one weird speculation after another. Don't tell me you haven't thought about the possibility, that it's all a misunderstanding, and that she still might be alive somewhere. She is not! I can't hide behind crazy ideas like that, because I was there. I've seen it happen."  
  
She walked past him, and he did not try to stop her. Maybe she was right after all. All that he wanted was to have Usagi back. That was why he had such crazy thoughts about her flying away in a spaceship. That was why the simple fact of a clock going fast, inspired him to these wild speculations. There were hundreds of reasons, why a clock could be ahead of time. How did he get the idea it might have been in a spaceship travelling back in time, or something like that? Saturday night and Sunday morning the clock had been in his bedroom. Usako had left it there Friday, the day he had last seen her. He hadn't had a chance to give it back to her yet. Saturday he had been working, and in the evening he and Saori had gone to the theatre.  
  
He remembered how jealous Usako had been. "I'll be sitting at home all alone, while you're having fun with other girls," she had complained. "Will you at least call me, when you get back?"  
  
"Sorry, but I have no idea when I'll get back. We'll probably have a drink somewhere, and it may get late. You can't always make such a fuss when I'm going out with my friends. I'm sure Saori's boyfriend doesn't have a problem with it."  
  
"Saori has a boyfriend again!" Usako had shouted with glee, "why didn't you say so at once? I hope it's serious this time!"  
  
He didn't think so. Saori was extremely picky about boyfriends, no man had met her requirements so far. She was very ambitious and spend most of her time studying. Any relationship, that took too much time or energy, was ended with little regret.  
  
In that way, she was the total opposite of Usako. In many other ways she wasn't. He was one of the few people who knew the warm-hearted young woman behind the cool façade.  
  
But girls were never the way they seemed to be. It was more than difficult to look through all the disguises. 


	6. For the best

Author's Note: I'd like to thank everybody, who has reviewed so far. Knowing that you enjoy reading my story means a lot to me. *hugs everybody*

Also, I'd like to say something about the Japanese word "Senshi" because it plays an important role in this part of the story. As Sailor Moon Fans, you probably know already, that the word means 'warrior' although the US Version of the show translates it as 'scout'. I think there's a difference between the two.

One of the reasons, I chose Mamoru as my main character is because, the story's all about a boy's struggle in a world dominated by girls. Often it's very difficult for him, because he sees things in a different way than the Sailor Senshi.

Well, here it goes..

* * *

Chapter 5 - For the best

--------------------------------------

There was a letter in Mamoru's mailbox. It had his name written on, but neither an address, nor a sender. Someone must have thrown it in.

He went upstairs to his appartment. Motoki was gone, he had left him a note that Mamoru could call him anytime, no matter how early, or late it was.

He had almost forgotten how quiet his appartment was. However ridiculous all that chasing around had been, it had at least kept him busy. Now there was nothing more to do. No more stories. No more the emptiness.

He remembered what Rei had said. 'You don't want to believe it.' He recalled this thoughts in the car, waiting in front of Tanaka's house. A part of him hadn't realized it yet. He could leave it that way, and try to keep his mind occupied, until he broke down some day. Or he could try to face it. He didn't know how that would end either. He didn't know, if he could go on living without her.

Maybe that was also what his dream had tried to tell him. Usagi being so close and then she vanished, leaving only darkness. The darkness inside him, was the emptiness he felt. He had to fight it. Maybe he couldn't win, then the best solution would be to end it all. But he had to try. He was no Senshi, but he didn't want to give up without a fight.

When the tears came, he let them flow, and made no attempt to fight them. They were like a rainfall after a long drought.

When it was over he felt relieved, although the pain hadn't lessened. He remembered the letter, and opened it. There were two things inside the envelope. A tiny, round box containing a single pill. And a note.

"It's for the best. You will save yourself and others a lot of trouble. You won't feel any pain."

It was a delicate handwriting, it looked very feminine to him. But, of course, that could be faked.

Someone wanted him dead. Something had happened. Rei had lied to him again.

He was mad at her, but mostly he was mad at himself for being lulled so easily. She had filled him up, with all that psychological nonsense about accepting and not accepting, and he had believed her. He had believed his inner voice, telling him that something was terribly wrong, was nothing but an attempt to run away from the truth. It was not.

He suppressed the urge to rush out again, find Rei and make her a big scene. It would do no good. She wouldn't tell him anything. Sometimes, it wasn't a good idea to ask outright questions. Whatever game they played with him, he had to go by their rules.

Maybe he shouldn't talk to Rei at all. Maybe he should stick to the others. They wouldn't tell him anything on purpose, but perhaps by accident.

Did Rei know about the letter? Was she the one, who had written it? Or was it a credit for Tanaka's theory? Tanaka believed, Usagi had been killed because she knew too much. Did he know to much, too? He didn't know anything!

He fetched the phone and called the Senshi. Ami repeated Rei's story, with not so much as the slightest contradiction. No wonder, she was smart enough. Minako cried on the phone, begging him to leave her alone. That made him feel guilty already. Makoto's line was busy. Obviously she was being warned by the others.

Another dead end.

It was getting dark outside. He turned on the light and read the letter again. The letter and the clock were his only hints. If the clock had anything to do with it at all. But Rei wanted to have it, so the answer was probably yes.

He took the pill out, too, and took a closer look at it. It was an ordinary white capsule, probably like the ones astronauts got before going into space, just in case something went wrong. Secret service agents were supposed to have it, too, if you believed the media. Another credit for Tanaka. But why a handwritten note, in a feminine writing style.

It was almost ironic. He had thought about taking his life. The idea, that he could end all the pain, with one small movement was tempting, still.

But obviously someone didn't want to get their hands dirty, and that made him angry. She, if it was a she, would have been better off killing him, and making it look like suicide. With something like that, she would achieve exactly the opposite.

Whoever she was, she had no idea at all. Even little Minako knew better.

But what did girls know anyway? No girl ever wanted to kill herself. They wanted someone to notice, how bad they felt. They wanted someone to take care of them. They wanted to punish someone, who had hurt them.

They spent hours imagining how bad people would feel, and arranged the whole thing like a stage drama. In the last act, they awoke in a hospital with big innocent eyes, and a crying family and friends around, who swore they would never ever again be so mean to the poor girl. Unless, of course, the whole thing went wrong, and they ended up in a coffin.

Whatever they wanted, and whatever they did, the very last thing they wanted to happen, was to be dead. Life was simply too important, and no matter how strong pain could be, there was always an end to it, and a new beginning, if you fought long and hard enough.

Maybe that was, why girls were Senshi and boys were not, he thought bitterly.


	7. Down the manhole

Chapter 6 - Down the manhole  
  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
It was long after dusk, and the warehouses in East Tokyo lay deserted, save for a few nightwatchmen. Mamoru parked the car a few blocks away, so one would see it.  
  
He did not know where to look exactly, since he had not told Rei or the others, that he would be coming here.  
  
He had thought of asking Rei to show him, where it had happened, but had rejected that thought quickly, since he couldn't trust her.  
  
The tarred road had tiny cracks in its surface. He walked past the barricades around a complex of buildings, ending up in a small courtyard. He tried the door to the main building and was surprised to find it unlocked.  
  
It was empty, too. Of course there was no light inside, so he turned on the flashlight. There were cracks in the walls, too, and the color was coming off. Some of the damages were likely to have been caused by the earthquake.  
  
The other building was a surprise to him, part of it was actually broken down, and the edges looked fresh. He had reached the center of the earthquake, because all the other buildings were still standing. But it couldn't be the place were Usagi had been, since the Senshi had said nothing about a whole ceiling coming down.  
  
A sound startled him, there were footsteps in the darkness. Someone was coming. At first he thought, it might be a nightwatchman, but what would he do out there? He would guard one of the buildings still in use.  
  
Mamoru could see a flashlight, so he crouched behind a broken piece of wall. There was a shadow coming closer. It was a single person, wearing a huge backpack, but he or she wasn't close enough to be seen clearly.  
  
The person passed by. Mamoru decided to wait a little, until the stranger was further away, then he followed. The steps stopped very abruptly, and he could hear a sort of scratching sound.  
  
Then silence again. Carefully Mamoru got up. The mysterious person was nowhere to be seen. Vanished! Or maybe not totally. A metal lid had been moved, there was an entrace into the sewerage.  
  
Mamoru didn't hesitate. As silently as possible he climbed down the manhole. He could see the beam of the flashlight again. The person was walking along a corridor now and suddenly stopped again. Mamoru realized it would be better to keep a longer distance. If the person turned around, he could be seen.  
  
The person put down the backpack and took some things out of it. For a short moment the beam of the flashlight brushed his head, revealing a familiar face. Professor Tanaka.  
  
Tanaka scraped something off the wall into a test-tube. He put the test- tube into his backpack, and spoke into a dictating machine: "Two-seventeen. Found another sample of unknown substance. Believe it to be alien. Test will show more."  
  
He switched it off. When he wanted to put it away, the flashlight slipped from his hands. He grabbed it the very last moment, the beam swirled along the wall, directly hitting Mamoru's face. Blinded by the light, he closed his eyes.  
  
"So you do belong to them, after all!", Tanaka yelled. "All this sentimental crab about your dead friend, and I was stupid enough to fall for it."  
  
The flashlight fell to the floor and went dark. Tanaka stumbled away.  
  
"Wait! That's not it!" Mamoru tried to stop him, "You're getting it all mixed up." He tried to chase after Tanaka, but the professor threw something to the floor. A unpleasant hissing sound, and the air was filled with smoke. Mamoru coughed, suddenly his lungs filled with fire. He didn't know, how dangerous this gas was, a maniac like Tanaka might probably possess military weapons, so he turned back and rushed to the entrance.  
  
Breathing the fresh air made him feel better at once. Looked like the gas had been harmless after all. What would he do next?  
  
He wanted to go back down, and take a look at the strange substance on the wall. Was it really alien? And if yes, where had it come from? What did an alien want in the sewerage of Tokyo? Wasn't it more likely to be a killer croc, or a ninja turtle!  
  
Voices ripped him from his thoughts. Familiar voices!  
  
"Sure it was that crazy guy again! He's still looking for his aliens. I don't know why you guys worry about him. I don't think anyone would believe him anyway, even if he did find something."  
  
"Mako-chan is not correct. If he found parts of her, he could maybe prove they're alien."  
  
"You're disgusting, Ami-chan! Are you trying to make us puke?"  
  
"Be quiet, everyone! Minako-chan, why do you have to yell that loud. He's probably still around!"  
  
He couldn't run away anymore, they were already too close now. So the only way not to be noticed was to climb back down again. Mamoru made it just in time, so they didn't notice him. He ran the down the corridor, knowing they were likely to hear him. But they would probably mistake him for Tanaka. He was glad, he had never mentioned to Rei, that he wanted to come here. If he had, she might have been more careful.  
  
They were coming down now, desperately he was looking for a place to hide. There were alcoves in the walls, but that was the first place they would look. He could go on running, of course, but if they split up and chased after him, he didn't have the slightest chance to escape, not to mention to find a way out of this subterranean labyrinth.  
  
He felt a sharp pain, as he bumped his head against something in the darkness. Pipes! A whole series of them crossed the corridor right below the ceiling. The perfect hideout! Quickly he pulled himself up, checking, if he would fit in the space between the pipeline and the ceiling. Yes, he could barely squeeze in.  
  
It felt like being buried alive, though. It was a good thing, he didn't have a problem with narrow spaces.  
  
Lying flat on his belly, he tried to get a glimpse between the pipes. There was not much he could see, but he could hear them coming. For the last time he turned his flashlight on, to check once more how save the hidout was, although he perfectly knew, he couldn't find another one.  
  
And there he saw it glinting, a small metallic thing on the floor. It had been the dictating machine Tanaka had dropped, not the flashlight.  
  
He didn't hesitate. He crept out, crashlanded on his belly, grabbed the machine, and pulled himself up again.That did leave him a few scratches, and black spots, but there was no way he would leave such an important thing to the Senshi.  
  
They walked along the corridor below him, but didn't seem to be in a hurry.  
  
"Think hard, guys, what could he find down there? If there is any evidence of the battle, it's not really a problem. There was evidence of our other battles, too, but it never revealed anything about our identities."  
  
"Rei-chan's right. We've checked everything already, and there's no blood or anything.  
  
"Ami-chan!", Minako wailed, but the others didn't take any notice of her, as Ami continued: "Not even in the cave, if he found out about it. Really, the only thing he can find are parts of rocks or dried lava."  
  
"Well, that stuff was pretty much splattered around, when we blew her up," Makoto threw in.  
  
"Ami-chan do you think, he can link it to her origin in any way?" Rei wanted to know.  
  
"Definitly, yes. He probably knows a lot about her already. But as long as he doesn't find out anything about us, we don't have to worry about it."  
  
"You guys! That's what I've been saying all the time, but no one's listening to me, anyway!"  
  
"All you ever do, Minako-chan is complaining!"  
  
"You're being mean Rei-chan, you....." Minako broke off in the middle off her sentence. For a while no one said anything.  
  
But Rei didn't give them any time get lost in memories."Let's get out of here!", she decided. We leave that professor to his studies and worry about more important things."  
  
They turned around and walked back towards the entrance. "Is Motoki still at Mamoru's place?" asked Makoto.  
  
"I'm sure he is. I've told him, I was afraid, Mamoru might do something stupid, and told him not to leave him alone. That'll keep Mamoru from sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. But Motoki can't protect him, that's for sure!"  
  
"We have to do that!" shouted Makoto. "No one will dare lay a hand on him!"  
  
Their voices lost in the darkness. The very last thing he heard was the scratching of the metal lid, as they pulled it back over the manhole. 


	8. She

Chapter 7 - She  
  
----------------------  
  
Back in the car, Mamoru resisited the urge to listen to the tape immediatly, and forced himself to sit down a moment. He felt dizzy trying sum up all the new information. The Senshi had fought and defeated an alien being down in the sewerage. There was a secret cave, too, and somebody was trying to kill him. Rei was behind the ideas in Motoki's head, and wanted him supervised. Fortunately, she didn't know, that he had contacted Tanaka. He had to make sure Motoki didn't tell her, if he suspected anything like that.  
  
Neither did Rei know, that he was still trying to find answers. She believed him to be savely in his appartment with Motoki as his watchdog. But Motoki hadn't acted according to her plans. He had left, when he felt Mamoru didn't need his help anymore. And Motoki knew Mamoru better than Rei did.  
  
Rei didn't know anything! He was so sick of her using people, like they were figures on a board game. He would make sure, she didn't play with him anymore.  
  
She believed him to be at home, so he wouldn't go back to his appartment. He thought, it would be save to stop by and pick up a couple of things, since it was not likely the Senshi would check on him right now. He had to hurry, so he could leave again before dawn. Then he would go elsewhere. He had to find a place, where they wouldn't find him. Neither the Senshi, nor the people who were after him. So he couldn't go to Motoki's place, there they would look first. It had to be someone, whom they didn't know to be a close friend of his.  
  
He hurried home, packed a small suitcase and drove away just as the sky turned yellow in the east. Had he left ten minutes later he would have crossed paths with a yellow Ferrari, going in the other direction, straight to his appartment.  
  
The drive would take some time, so he used it to listen to the tape from Tanaka's dictating machine. He didn't think, he could use much of it, it started out with things how Tanaka would proof his theories. But as the tape ran on Mamoru's face went more and more pale. Several times he rewound a passage to listen to it again. It was hard to understand, and even harder to believe.  
  
At first there were mostly calculations, about in what angle the spaceship had left earth. Tanaka had tried to figure it out by analizing the damages caused by the earthquake. He had walked around the area, taking a look at pretty much every crack in the buildings or on the floor. More interesting were the alien substances he found in the sewery. He believed them to be the remnants of the ship's engine fuel. Mamoru knew, they were the remnants of an alien being, the Senshi had fought and destroyed, a being they had referred to as 'she.' That meant they had to be familiar with their enemy, otherwise, 'she' would have been an 'it'. On the analization of the substances Tanaka had based his 'TV theory' on nuclear testing. The substances itself were stone and metal, probably from the very center of the earth. But locked inside them were tiny traces of hydrogen and helium atoms. The nuclear fusion from hydrogen into helium was something that took place on the sun and other stars.  
  
Nuclear weapons were based on the same principle. So Tanaka would be able to proof with the stuff he had, that nuclear fusion had taken place. But his true theory went further. He believed the fuel of the ship to be a living organism, originating from the sun. It contained enormous energy inside itself, and created its energy by nuclear fusion. For the last milleniums this particular being had lived in the center of the earth, were it had added the terran parts. As long as the organism was active it was a being of pure energy. It didn't even have a physical body. All it needed was hydrogen for the fusion, and a certain amount of energy to start it.  
  
On the sun, there had been enough of it. On earth, the being still drew some energy from the sun. The drained parts of the sun's surface, were visible to humans as so-called sun-spots. Whenever the number of the sun- spots increased, so did the power of the being. Also, and now Tanaka was getting more and more fantastic, the being could drain energy from other living beings, for example human brainwaves, but that was only possible if it was powerful enough. Nevertheless terran climate was not fit for the being. Probably the spaceship was its possibility to get back to the sun. So it had contacted the Illuminati and made a deal with them about flying the ship. Maybe it could outsmart even them. Maybe it was behind the Illuminati itself, it had used them to get the ship in the first place.  
  
At the end of the tape Tanaka started to have problems with his own theories. He mixed things around, then again there were clear detailed descriptions about his tests and what evidence he found for different ideas.  
  
Also, he had found the cave were the spaceship had been, and gave some directions on how to find it. They weren't that clear, but with a little luck Mamoru thought, he might be able to follow them. The tape ended with last night's trip into the sewery, were Tanaka had lost it.  
  
Mamoru felt sick. He stopped at a supermarket to get coffee to fight the fatigue. He felt sick even more. So many answers at once, and they only raised more questions. Could it be true? How could Tanaka know all these things?  
  
He should have listened to the professor in the first place, he should have worked together with him. All this weird stuff had gotten him to lose interest. He now knew, who the enemy of the Senshi had been. An enemy older than the Moon Kingdom itself. The Silver Crystal had banished her once, the Silver Crystal had banished her again. And yet she had returned.  
  
Energy beings like her were something, they had encountered many times. Wiseman, or Pharao 90 had been such creatures. They were powerful only, if they used humans for their plans. They ruled human minds. Wiseman had seen the desire for vengance in the Black Moon Family, and had pomised to help them. Pharao'90 wanted to destroy the whole physical world, and all living beings with a physical body.  
  
And she had created a war between Earth and Moon. The darkest chapter inside his memories. Although the memories how the Silver Millenium ended had returned to all of them, it was something they rarely spoke about. It was simply too painful.  
  
The thought, that Queen Metallia had freed herself from the depths of the earth, made him shiver. The Senshi had defeated her - at what cost? The secret they did not want to talk about? Why did they have to make up this story about the earthquake? It just didn't make any sense!  
  
Did he have enough information to confront Rei yet? He didn't think so! She wouldn't be pleased about his disappearance, maybe she would go looking for him. It was better to wait and see what she would do next.  
  
It was a little after eight when he reached his destination. He hoped his friend was home. She was an early bird after all, and might have gone shopping or studying in the library. In some ways, she really was the total opposite of Usako. 


	9. 17 Minutes

@ All: Thank you so much for your reviews. it means a lot to me, that you are enjoying my story.  
  
@ Leris: And thanks for your suggestion with the settings. I will try to make them clearer in the next chapters.  
  
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Chapter 8 - 17 Minutes  
  
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He could have called her, but when the thought occured to him, he already stood on her doorstep. "I'm sorry to disturb you", he said, "I know, I'm being weird, but please, don't ask any questions. Please let me sleep a couple of hours, I'll explain everything then, and if you still want to kick me out, do it then!  
  
"Who said anything about kicking you out? But get in the shower, before you touch anything in here.You smell worse than a sewer rat!"  
  
Mamoru enjoyed the cool water running over his body. Nothing was more refreshing than taking a shower in the morning. Although, in a way, it felt like evening to him. Saori couldn't know, how close her remark about the sewer rat came to the truth. Now he had to make up a credible explanation, why he showed up at her place in the morning, and asked her to let him stay.  
  
He still couldn't think of anything, when he came out of the bathroom. But it didn't really matter for now, since Saori was gone. She had left a note, that she had gone to the university and would be back around four in the afternoon. He should write down, if he ate anything, and could pay her back later. If he had time, he could get some coffee, she was low on that.  
  
Fine! Why shouldn't he get coffee? He didn't have anything else to do, did he? The Senshi were looking for him, the Illuminati were chasing him, too, not to mention some alien or other, while all he did was getting coffee. It was a phantastic idea, if you thought about it. And besides, coffee was one of the basic nutrients. He knew that, Saori did, too, - hell, every college student in the whole damn country knew that. Coffee was the essence of live. Divine vengence on anybody, who kept a poor college student from drinking his coffee.  
  
He didn't feel tired anymore. He got dressed, grabbed his wallet and went coffee-shopping. Of course he kept the bill, after all Saori would rather kiss a killer croc from the sewerage than take money from him. Maybe he would even eat some of the bio-natural cultivation grain and yogurt substance Saori called food. Then the poor girl would have to figure out, who owed money to who. Happy calculations! And a good morning to you, too, Rei, werever you were. Werever you got your screaming-fit, because you were outsmarted by a stupid male.  
  
He drank a cup of coffee, but his drowsiness came back anyway. He crashed on Saori's couch. And waited for the darkness to return.  
  
At first it was even more confusing than before. He felt the strange darkness as soon as he had gone to sleep, at least it seemed that way to him. It was everywhere. He didn't try to fight it this time, he forced himself to stay calm. He wanted to watch it like someone who didn't stand in the middle of it. Like someone who saw it from a distance.  
  
Possibly it worked. The grip on him became looser. Whatever it was, it wasn't alert anymore. It thought it had won. It was getting careless. He forced himself to be patient. Still, it was not the right time to attack.  
  
When he felt the time was right, he concentrated all the powers of his mind and heart against it. It burst apart, it burst into a thousand pieces. It vanished. It was defeated.  
  
Sometimes it wasn't a good idea, to charge an opponent. It was better to stay back and watch. It had worked with Rei, it had worked with that thing, too. It was gone. He had broken free.  
  
Usako! This time she wasn't close, she stood a distance away, looking at him. She wore a white long dress, her gown was flowing as she ran towards him. It was the dress of Princess Serenity. He was startled by her beauty, she appeared more like an angel, than a human being to him. He felt stunned at first, but realized he could move.  
  
He took a few careful steps towards her. He still wasn't sure if it was her, or just some kind of illusion to trick him again.  
  
She didn't rush into his arms, as one would have expected, but stopped before him to look at him, as if she feared he was an illusion, too.  
  
She said something, he couldn't understand, he was only pretty sure it contained the words 'Mamo-chan'.  
  
"Aishite, Usako - I love you!" he whispered.  
  
She smiled at him. She stood on tiptoes to reach his mouth. Her face came closer, she turned it to get her nose out of the way. Something inside him yelled alert. He wanted to move, but it was already to late.  
  
The black liquid welled up inside him. The darkness rose a wall between them, no matter how close she had been before, she was gone now. This time she tried to scream, but something suffocated the cry inside her throat. He wanted to force himself to stay calm, but he couldn't. Again he panicked and his mind charged inside the darkness. And it was darkness, it was not the emptiness, he felt after loosing her. It was something different. But it was too strong. It was an enemy, that didn't show.  
  
Someone shook him, and it took him a few moments to realize were he was. "I think, you had some kind of a nightmare", Saori said helplessly, "I didn't know if it was the right thing to do, but I woke you up."  
  
"No, that's fine," he answered, "I'm not feeling too well, I keep having those nightmares."  
  
"You shouldn't worry about them. Dreams are simply unsolved problems in our subconcious.They go away, once the problem's solved."  
  
Of course, Saori would say something like that. He was still wondering how he could explain to her, why he wanted to stay at her place. "I must have shocked you, I mean, I just stood in your door."  
  
"Why that?" Saori seemed confused.  
  
"Well, I...oh nevermind. I wanted to ask you, if I could stay at your place for a couple of days. Being at home is a little difficult right now."  
  
She nodded. "You don't have to explain anything. I said, I wanted to help you, if I could. I just can't be home all the time, I have so much stuff to do. I'm not used to living together with someone" She stopped talking, then she added shyly :"I don't know what I could say to comfort you, I'm not used to that kind of situation either."  
  
He smiled at her. In a way she was very much like Ami. "Don't worry about it. I try not to turn your life upside down. Mine already is!"  
  
"You forget, that this is not about you alone. You may have lost a person, but Earth has lost its guardian!"  
  
Mamoru jumped up "What? How can you know that?"  
  
"I've known it for a long time, once I've seen her transform. It was well over a year ago. But, don't worry, I never told anyone, and I'm not going to."  
  
He remembered the day the Amazon Trio had tried to destroy Saori's dream. It probably had been that day, when she had witnessed Usagi's transformation.  
  
And she had kept the secret for so long. Maybe he could trust her and tell her more about what happened. He had to think about it.  
  
"Well," she said "I have to get going. I have classes in the evening. I see you later then."  
  
"I guess, you don't know how to even spell the term 'semester break', do you? I wonder were you squeeze out the time to go out with me."  
  
She turned around. "Intelligent talks with intelligent people are a part of education, too, aren't they?"  
  
"You're flattering me!"  
  
Saori was almost out the door, when she turned around again. "Now that you mention going out, you forgot your umbrella last Saturday. I tried to call you on the phone in your car, but you didn't answer."  
  
"I guess I was already home then."  
  
She shook her head. "You were about seventeen minutes gone. Even a Porsche can't go that fast."  
  
The door fell shut. Mamoru was alone. 


	10. The Cave

Chapter 9 - The Cave  
  
----------------------------------  
  
What had happened when he drove home that night? Why hadn't he answered the phone? Surely he must have been in the car!  
  
He tried to recall the evening. After the theater, he had driven Saori home. They had reached her appartment about 11p.m. It had been rainig slightly, when he escorted her to the door, so he had carried an umbrella. She had asked him to come inside, and he had agreed. He remembered their conversation clearly, they also had a cup of coffee. Around midnight he left. He forgot the umbrella, because it wasn't raining any longer. Actually he hadn't thought about it until Saori had mentioned it a few minutes ago.  
  
He had driven home, and couldn't remember anything unusual about it. In his mind, he could follow the way from Saori's place to his. He had driven it many times. But those many times had mixed inside his mind, and he didn't know which one was yesterday.  
  
Things would have been easy, if there had simply been a black hole in his memory. But there wasn't. His memories had faded somewhere during the drive, and he couldn't say at what point. When you did something as trivial as driving a familiar way, you didn't think about it all the time, and you didn't lock every moment into your memory. He only was sure he did not remember reaching his appartment and going to sleep. The next thing there was, was waking up Sunday morning. At least a couple of hours were missing from his memories.  
  
And after Rei's visit on Sunday, there had been other things on his mind. He hadn't thought of Saturday night anymore.  
  
The star-shaped clock. He had taken it with him, he was sure about that. That was how the clock got involved  
  
It looked like the different parts of the puzzle were finally coming together.  
  
Had Rei taken away his memories? Was she trying to protect her secret? How was she powerful enough to do that? Or had someone even more powerful helped her?  
  
He couldn't sit and wait any longer. It was time to do some more chasing around.  
  
About seventeen minutes, Saori had said. She was as exact about time, as she was about money.  
  
He drove towards his apartment, trying to remember Saturday night. Seventeen minutes. That meant his memories ended shortly after leaving Saori's neighbourhood. Maybe there was a certain place, were it felt strange to pass by.  
  
About an hour later, he gave it up. It wasn't to possible to find out, where his memories had faded. It looked like he had found another dead end.  
  
His problem was linked directly to the way the human memory worked. You couldn't keep everything, so you kept only the things that seemed important to you. And a drive from A to B was not, especially if you knew the way so well.  
  
He had taken the tape with him. Tanaka had mentioned a cave, and the Senshi had talked about it, too. Maybe the answer was inside this cave.  
  
But he didn't know if the tape would be enough to find the way. If directions were mentioned, they were rare and confusing. The only one he could ask was Tanaka.  
  
He decided not to call Tanaka as not to chase him away, but drove directly to the appartment, where he had met with him. An old man answered the door and told him, Tanaka had left Tokyo. He had, of course, no idea at all, where he had gone, and when he would be back.  
  
It looked like another channel had been sealed.  
  
Why, just why hadn't he talked to Tanaka before? He was still missing so much information. He had thought himself so close to the truth, now he realized, he knew nothing. He didn't know, what was real about Tanaka's theories and what was not. The being the professor had talked about, was definitly Queen Metallia, he couldn't have made that all up. About the other things, the spaceship, or the conspirations he didn't know anything.  
  
But if the Senshi had fought Metallia down there, why the hell didn't they just tell him? Why did they make up that stupid earthquake? He had asked himself that question before.  
  
His lost memories! There was something wrong with that, yes, but that still wasn't a proof, that he had been anywhere near the place it had happened. His only hint was the clock. But the only hint about the clock was Tanaka's spaceship story. And it sounded so unbelievable. He didn't want to admit it, but the only reason why he hadn't simply dropped that story long ago, was another one. If Usagi had left in this spaceship, she wasn't dead.  
  
He drove to the warehouses again. His only link was to find that cave on his own, no matter what was waiting in there. If the earthquake had originated from there, the cave couldn't be too far from the place the house broke down. Actually it had to be right below it.  
  
Down the manhole, he followed the corridor, until he reached the pipeline were he had hidden. The corridor was one long straight line. But it led away from the area. The cave was surely closer than that. So he turned around exploring the corridor the other way. There it split, and the two new corridors split again. An endless maze going into different directions. But all of them led away from the center of the earthquake.  
  
He remembered the substance Tanaka had taken from the wall. He checked the place, finding something grey, that looked like it was once liquid and dried later. He tried to scratch at it with his Swiss knife, but nothing came off. Carefully he touched it, it was as hard as rock. He didn't like the way it felt. It gave him the creeps.  
  
Normally he wouldn't have worried too much, but he had become more sensitive to things like that This substance had been part of Queen Metallia, whether she had been lava, hydrogen or just pure energy, it didn't matter. There still was some kind of evil aura around it.  
  
If she had been inside this cave, it had to be close.  
  
Tanaka's directions didn't help him right now. He tried to recall the talk of the Senshi he had overheard. They hadn't said anything about were the cave might be. But had he listened closely? He had been worried, that they would discover him. One look up, and they could have.....look up! Or in his case look down! Never think two-dimensional!  
  
He examined the floor of the corridor, starting out at the manhole and working his way towards the spot with the grey stuff. No surprise, there was another lid. He ran his hands over it, trying to find a way to pull it out. It was hard to move.  
  
The entrance was small and it went straight down. He pulled himself through, his feet searching for something to stand on. There were iron rungs fastened into the wall. He put his flashlight into his pocket, to have both hands free. Carefully he started to climb down. It was quite a while until he reached solid ground again. And the temperature was getting higher.  
  
He turned around, took out the flashlight and gave his surroundings a look.  
  
This was no sewery. This was a natural cave, looking like the inside of a vulcano. A black and grey lava-like substance covered the walls and the floor in strange patterns. Part of the cave had crumbled, there were rocks broken from the ceiling and more rocks blocked the way in one direction.  
  
In the other direction, the ground split open to a huge pit, that seemed to have no bottom. He threw down a rock, it made ghostly sounds bouncing back and forth between the walls. They grew softer and softer, until they faded into nothingness.  
  
But it wasn't the sound that made his blood freeze. It was the knowledge that this place was not new to him.  
  
He had been here before. 


	11. Blackmail

Chapter 10 - Blackmail  
  
------------------------------  
  
The knowledge hit him like a burst of flames. Things started to make sense again. This cave was familiar to him, he just didn't know how. He searched his memories, but the missing parts still didn't come back. Had the cave appeared in his dream? He wasn't sure about that either, he had never given a thought to his environment. He had only worried about Usagi and the strange darkness.  
  
He walked around in the cave, desperatly searching for something familiar. Behind the barrier of rocks, there was probably another entrance, but it would take days to free it. And he didn't know how stable the cave was, anyway. Perhaps more rocks would break down. He wasn't keen on getting smashed.  
  
Had these rocks killed Usagi? Perhaps it had been a trap set up by Metallia. She had lured Usagi down here, and let the rocks fall on her. It would make sense. No it wouldn't!  
  
Carefully he approached the pit. The strange heat emerged from there. He lay flat on his belly, and looked down as far as the flashlight permitted it. The ravine was a long narrow rip in the earth, with rocks sticking out from the walls. It was impossible to see the bottom, since it didn't go straight down and seemed to become even narrower the further it went down. If you fell down there, you would probably get stuck at some point.  
  
Had Usagi fallen down? He didn't want to think about it.  
  
Probably the bottom of the pit was a flow of magma, that would be an explanation for the heat. The earthquake was supposed to have been caused by vulcanic activities. He turned of the flashlight, and still was able to see a kind of faint glow from down there.  
  
He got up again, and wanted to walk around the pit. It wasn't easy, one side was ending in the wall. He had to jump over it at that point. It was some five or six foot, not a big problem. He just had be careful not to slip. The dangerous part was the passage right before it. It was a pity, he didn't have a rope.  
  
He knew, the one thing he must not do now, was look down. But he couldn't help it, was glance wandered lower, and suddenly he felt dizzy. He slipped, one moment, it seemed like he was falling, and got caught between the rocks.  
  
He didn't dare to move. If one little rock broke, he would just slide down into nothingness. Sweat was running down his cheeks, if it was the heat, or the thought of what was below him, he couldn't say. Where was the flashlight. His hand touched the cool metal, but he didn't dare to grab it. And without it he couldn't see.  
  
He had to take the risk, and try to find ground for his feet. Of course it could break, but he had to start somewhere. And reaching for something in the dark, and trying to pull himself up, was even more dangerous.  
  
Carefully, inch by inch, he let himself slide down, hoping the rocks would keep. Finally his feet reached a small edge, that carried him. Now the flashlight was out of reach for good. He had rely on his hands and feet.  
  
It still did not seem a good idea to pull himself up. Now since he was standing on something solid, his mind stopped racing and he could grasp clear thoughts again. He pressed his left foot into one wall, and reached with the right one for the wall on the other side. The first time he slipped, landing on the edge again.  
  
The second time it worked. Now he had to be even more careful. If he slipped again, he would hit the edge from a bigger distance, and maybe it was not strong enough to hold. So, he used his elbows, too. They got scratched as he pressed them into the walls, but the pain was not unbearable. His hand reached for something, it felt like a crumbled paper. How did it get here? It didn't matter, he needed to focus now.  
  
He grabbed the paper with his teeth, careful not to move his elbow. He worked his way up, until he had to take the risk, of pulling himself up the edge of the pit. Exhausted he rolled over, on solid ground, and rested for a few minutes, until his pulse was close to normal again.  
  
Mamoru took the flashlight and the paper and walked away from the pit. He didn't know, if the paper was important, but before he took a look at it, he had to get away from that pit. His curiousity won, before he had reached the iron rungs leading up, he stopped and unfolded it. It wasn't just a normal sheet of paper, it was the kind of rice paper used for calligraphy.  
  
There where marks in black ink, and whoever had written them, had an even more delicate handwriting, than the person, who had send him that suicide letter two days ago. Only it wasn't a woman this time. It was a man's hand, and it had to be a man, who was very familiar with calligraphy.  
  
The first three kanji read 'Shiroi', 'Tsuki', and 'Hime'. Princess of the White Moon! There was no doubt, it was a letter to Usagi. Someone had thrown it into the pit, so that it wouldn't be found. It was pure fortune, that it had gotten stuck between the rocks. Maybe this letter was the missing part of the puzzle.  
  
"Princess of the White Moon! Prince Endymion is in my hands. His life is forfeit, unless you surrender the Holy Silver Crystal to me, immediatly. If you let anyone read this, or bring anybody with you, you seal his fate. The cat will show you the way."  
  
Something making perfect sense, for a change. Metallia had kidnapped him and used him to lure Usagi into a trap. Had she really been after the Silver Crystal, or was it a plan to get rid of Usagi? Probably both!  
  
What did she mean by cat? He doubted that the cat guardians of the Senshi were involved, so it had to be something different. He didn't even know, if she was talking about a living animal or some kind of youma, or droid.  
  
Or was cat simply slang for person? He didn't think so. Probably Metallia had used a cat, because it couldn't tell the way to anyone else. Or maybe she hadn't been strong enough to control the mind of a human. But she couldn't have done it without human help. Someone had kidnapped him Saturday night. Someone had written that letter and given it to Usagi.  
  
There still were many unanswered questions, but he had reached the bottom of the well. No earthquakes, no spaceships. Just an ancient nemesis and her plans. 


	12. Broken

@all: Again, thanks for your reviews and mails. I'm really really grateful, I get feedback at all, and it doesn't matter to me that, like Karla and Leris said, that other stories might get more reviews. As long as anyone enjoys this story, I'm happy :-)  
  
And I want to apologize, that I didn't update for so long. It's always difficult to find the time for writing. I have to finish papers for college :-(  
  
@chintamani: Your question will be answered in this chapter *g*  
  
@Faded Nights: We won't know for sure, until we get to the end. *eg*  
  
One word about Saori, I don't remember if I said this already. She's not a self-created character, she appears in one episode of season four. If you want me to, I can look for the title of the episode. By the way, did season 4 run in the US? Last thing I heard was, they showed season 3, and made Haruka and Michiru cousins instead of lovers *ggg*.  
  
Chapter 11 - Broken  
  
-------------------------------  
  
"I'm sorry, I keep talking and talking, and you probably have more important stuff to do."  
  
"Don't worry about it," Saori said. "I only wish, I could help you. I'm not good with these kinds of things."  
  
"You're listening to me. That's what I call helping."  
  
He was back in Saori's appartment, and all he had done for the last few hours was talking. He hadn't told her about the mysteries, and unsolved questions, he didn't think it a good idea after all, if she got too involved in things. Even if she was trustworthy, and he was sure about it, these happenings concerned only the Sailor Senshi, and their opponents.  
  
And him, too. It wasn't anything to be discussed with outsiders.  
  
The things he talked about, weren't especially mysterious or strange. They were quite trivial, or they would be, if circumstances had been different. What was so special about going to the movies with your girlfriend? What was so special about eating pizza, ice cream, and all that junkfood with her, and pick on her complaining, about her weight?  
  
Hadn't he known before, that all these moments were precious, and a moment once gone would never return? Yes he had known. And although he had always believed their future to be written, although they both had thought, long years of happiness awaited them, they had lived their lives right here in the present. They had felt these moments with all their heart.  
  
"Sometimes I think we knew only too well, what it means to lose everything. What I really mean is, if you love someone, and you lose her, and then you find her again, there is no going back to the days when you still believed everything was going to be fine. It's different, because you don't take it for granted. You still run around and do all those stupid things again, you argue about nothing and don't apologize when you should have, but it's just different.  
  
But still, you know, whenever our worlds broke apart, there were so many things I wanted to tell her, and I never had a chance to say them. There was so much stuff we wanted to do, and never did.  
  
After losing and finding her so many times, you might think, it shouldn't hurt as bad anymore, and that hope is stronger than pain. But I'm telling you, it hurts like hell, and I don't have any hope anymore." He clenched his fists so tightly, that his nails cut into his skin. "None at all!"  
  
At first he tried to fight the tears, but then he didn't care anymore. What did it matter anyway? Even if he did know what had happened, it wouldn't change anything. Something had ripped Usako from his arms, whatever it was, she was gone, and she was gone for good.  
  
Very, shyly, it was something she had never done before, Saori put her arms around him. He hugged her tightly, hiding his face at her shoulder. All he wanted, was to cry himself to sleep, and never wake up again. But sleep wasn't enough, it was no escape from the truth. The dreams would return, and they were worse than anything else.  
  
She gently ran her hand over his head. His hair was still moist from the shower. He clung to her, like a drowning man clings to a life-buoy. As she bent down her head, and kissed his tears away, he returned her kisses. The heat spreading inside him, silenced his thoughts. It swept through him like a fiery wind, drying him out. Their kisses grew more and more passionate, yet he avoided touching her lips with his.  
  
She didn't resist as he lifted her up, and carried her onto the bed, almost ripping her clothes off. He feared the moment the heat would burst out of him, so he tried to hold back, but it wasn't possible. The very moment his fire flushed into her, the cold reached for him again, and the emptiness returned.  
  
Sleep finally came and with it the dreams.  
  
***  
  
When he awoke Thursday morning, he wasn't surprised, to find Saori up already. She was busy reading a book about ancient Chinese law and didn't even look up, when he wished her a good morning. Nevertheless something seemed to be wrong, because she kept staring at the book without turning the pages.  
  
Finally she said, without looking at him:"I think you should leave."  
  
He nodded. "If you want me to. Say, Saori, are you angry with me?"  
  
"It's nothing! Just go away, and leave me alone."  
  
He didn't know what to do. Whenever Usagi said "Leave me alone!" she wanted him to stay. She would say that nothing was wrong for three times and still expect him to ask a fourth time. So it didn't seem a good idea to him, to simply go away.  
  
"I can see something is wrong with you, why don't you just tell me? Honestly, I don't want to destroy our friendship."  
  
For the first time she looked up at him. "You already did!"  
  
"So you think, it's all my fault, don't you?"  
  
"All I want you to do, is to go away and leave me alone! I presume, you don't have a problem with your ears!"  
  
"Saori, if you don't tell me, I can't understand, what's going on. I can't read minds!"  
  
She turned her face away but he could see, she was crying. "Leave me alone!" she yelled. It was the first time, he actually heard her raise her voice. Saori had never acted like that before. It was just not like her.  
  
He realized, that she wouldn't talk to him, so he decided to leave. He was so incredibly sick of it. Saori had a mouth, and she could speak. If he had done anything wrong, she could tell him, and he would apologize. Yes, he had gotten carried away. But she acted as if he had forced her, and that wasn't fair.  
  
"I don't have a problem with my ears!" he yelled, as he stormed out the door. "If you had said 'no' I would've heard that."  
  
He threw his bag in the back of his car, and slammed the door, after he had gotten inside. Another broken friendship was exactly the thing he needed!  
  
He called Saori's number but, of course, she didn't answer. It was only the answering machine. "Whatever I may have done, I apologize," he said, "But if this is about last night, it's not fair of you to hold me responsible for everything."  
  
Why did women have to be so complicated? They kept babbeling all the time, but when it came to something important, they couldn't get their mouths open. No one ever wanted to tell him what was going on! He was just so incredibly sick of those guessing games. He couldn't stand them anymore.  
  
It was time to turn the tables. He picked the phone up again, and dialled Rei's number.  
  
"Meet me in the cave!" he said. "the cave, where Queen Metallia killed Usagi!" 


	13. Firststrike

Chapter 12 - Firststrike  
  
-----------------------------  
  
He decided not to tell her the things he knew, maybe he could trick some more information out of her. He didn't believe there were many secrets left, some parts of the story were missing, but the picture seemed almost complete. Metallia was dead, but it was likely, her helpers, whoever they were, were still around. They had kidnapped him, and taken his memories away, and now they were still after him. It made sense that a woman had written that letter with the pill to him. Metallia definitly would have a woman as the leader of her minions. And the Senshi had promised Usagi to protect him.  
  
The only two things he really didn't understand, were the clock, and the fact, that the Senshi had made up that earthquake story. But who would ever understand, why women did the things they did?  
  
Rei was already there, when he climbed down into the cave. The very first thing she did as she saw him, was slap him across the face.  
  
"Where have you been?" she yelled. "We've been looking all over for you!"  
  
"What does it matter?", he answered calmly, pleased, that he had managed to get her off-guard. "I can go wherever I please. Well, if you thought I was in danger, you could have said so. I might have been more careful, then. But all you told me was, that there was a little earthquake, and that I should stop running from the truth. What I did during those last three days, was finding the truth!"  
  
He hadn't planned on showing her the black mail letter, but now he pulled it out of his pocket. He turned the tape in the dictating machine on, and let Tanaka speak a few phrases about the creature from the sun. He showed her the other letter, and the pill. And he watched Rei's face grow more and more pale.  
  
"Well," he said, "it's just like showdown on the big screen, ain't it? So many lies, so many games, and now they've all come to an end. Now it comes all down to the truth, you tried to keep from me."  
  
Three figures suddenly rushed out from the darkness. Together the Senshi managed to get a hold of the letters, the box and the dictating machine. He couldn't keep Rei from throwing everything down into the pit this time. But he didn't feel the need to stop them anyway. The things had served their purpose. He didn't need them anymore.  
  
"It's over, Rei," he said to her, "whatever you do now, I don't care anymore. I really don't. There is only one thing left, I want to ask you, and I don't believe you are able to give me an answer to that. Not because you don't want to, but because you don't know it yourself!"  
  
"So if you figured out the truth anyway," Rei said carefully, "what do still want to ask me?"  
  
He looked at their faces. Ami, Makoto, Minako! And Rei!  
  
"The question is really quite simple: Why does history keep repeating itself? Why do the same things happen over and over again?And why does it always hurt as bad as the first time?"  
  
"There is something I've been wanting to tell you all. It's a part of a story you know quite well, but I'm not sure you've heard that chapter before.  
  
It's the story of a young prince, who lived a long time ago, in a long forgotten kingdom. He was destined to follow his mother upon the throne, once he was old enough. So to make sure, nothing happened to him, she chose four bodyguards, who were sworn to protect him.  
  
We grew up together, and they were the closest friends I ever had. We were like brothers. I felt I could trust them with everything. But one day an evil power took control over them and they turned against me. My world shattered that day. For the first time in my live I knew, what real pain was.  
  
When I look at you now, I see four people I used to trust, four people I considered my friends. But you betrayed me, too. You lied to me over and over again. I love Usagi more than anything, but you kept playing with my feelings. You hurt me again and again, and you just didn't care."  
  
"You are not fair!" Ami sobbed, "we didn't tell you, because we didn't want you to suffer!" Minako had buried her face in Makoto's shoulder.  
  
Rei was the only one, who manged to keep control. "We did, what we thought was right," she whispered, "for both of you, you and Usagi. Maybe you see things in a different way, than we do, but we don't feel, that we have betrayed you. You say, you love Usagi. We love her, too. She died right here, in my arms, and I swore to her, I wouldn't tell you, what happened. That vow goes for us all."  
  
"I wish could believe you", Mamoru said, "I really do! But you disappointed me too badly. You lied to often, it's just too much! Things are getting worse and worse all the time."  
  
Rei gave a cry of warning, and Makoto, who stood closest to Mamoru, grabbed him and pushed him out of the way. A huge ball of light burst through the barrier of rocks, breaking and splattering the rocks all around.  
  
The tunnel behind the barrier was visible now. Inside it there were two figures, their arms raised in attack position.  
  
"You missed!" said Sailor Neptune.  
  
"Nope!" said Sailor Uranus, her hands forming another ball of light, "just didn't wanna kill him firststrike!" 


	14. Loyalty

First of all, a big hug to happygolucky111, SerenityBubbles, Roxie, Silent Star 1, Aldrean Treu Peri, Karla, Leris, Chintamani, First Silvera, Faded Nights, Bodri, Adrian Rose and Shimmering Angel  
  
@Shimmering Angel: About your question: This story takes place one year after the Stars Season (Bishoujou Senshi Sailor Moon Sailor Stars), also known as Season 5. The Inners are around 17 years old.  
  
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Chapter 13 - Loyality  
  
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"Sailor Senshi, henshinyo!"  
  
It was now Rei who shouted out the words, he had so often heard from Usagi. The Senshi transformed with flashing colors, calling upon the powers of their planets.  
  
Within a moment they had surrounded Mamoru, while Uranus and Neptune split up, and circled them. Fire swirled between Mars' fingers as she yelled: "I'm warning you, don't come any closer!"  
  
"Oh, my, am I afraid!", Uranus said cheerfully. Her expression changed, as she faced Mars "It's time for you to step aside, self-elected leader of the Inner Senshi. Leave things to us!"  
  
Why Uranus and Neptune? What did they have to do with the whole thing? They hadn't even been involved in the battle, or had they?  
  
"Just what the hell is going on!" shouted Mamoru. He was so incredibly sick of those guessing games!  
  
"Oh nothing, really," Uranus took a step closer to Mars, scowling at her, "except some people are placing personal feelings for some other people over their loyalty to our princess!" Mars flinched, and the others exchanged surprised glances. Mamoru listened up. What was Uranus talking about? Obviously the Senshi didn't know either. Was Rei hiding something from them, too?  
  
Uranus gave her a cold smile. "Actually I was talking about Pluto, who is not at our side, where she should be! But if you feel offended, you'll probably have your reasons!"  
  
Mars didn't give her an answer. Instead she turned to the others: "Sailor Senshi of the Inner Circle! If any of you have the slightest doubt about my loyalty to our princess, then step aside, and let me fight this out alone!"  
  
"Never!" the Senshi yelled. None of them moved. They all kept close watch of their opponents. "Is this how you win your battles?" Jupiter asked without taking her eyes off Neptune, who was closest to her. "By spreading discord with false accusations?"  
  
"My mirror...", Neptune began, but was at once interrupted by Mercury. "Your mirror was not intented for spying on other Sailor Senshi in the first place. And even if you found out something like that by accident, you have no right to yell it around!" Mamoru couldn't believe his ears. If Michiru found out, Rei was hiding something for personal profit, it would be her first duty to tell the others. And Ami said, she should be quiet. That didn't make any sense at all!  
  
"Even if it was true, which I don't think it is, it's nobody's business, but Rei's!" Venus shouted. She wanted to add something, but fell silent, probably worrying about saying too much. It was scary how fast the girls caught on, what Uranus and Neptune were talking about, almost as if they could read minds. Why weren't they worried about Rei's secret at all? What if Rei was in any way responsible for Usako's death? This secret could be anything! Yet none of the Inner Senshi seemed to have any doubt in Rei.  
  
"I did not tell anyone, "Neptune tried to defend herself. "Haruka figured it out for herself."  
  
Uranus' voice turned icy. "Mars must have a reason for her decision, and this one seems logical to us. After all she took Moon's place as leader of the Inner Senshi, why shouldn't she also go for her b...."  
  
"One more of your lies, bitch, and I'll rip out your tongue!" Jupiter's voice trembled with fury.  
  
"Enough talking!" Uranus decided. Her attack shook the ground.  
  
The actual battle took only seconds. He had just transformed, when Mercury's Shavon Spray dimmed the little light there was. The Inner Senshi made a big noise by throwing attacks, and running around in different directions. It seemed like a miracle no one fell down the pit.  
  
A hand reached for his in the darkness, but he couldn't tell right away, who it was. She pulled him to the tunnel with the rungs up. It was the slower way to escape, so Uranus and Neptune would think it more likely, he took the other one. It was obvious to him, that the Inner Senshi were prepared for an attack like that, and had planned a strategy for retreat. But since fighting each other seemed very strange to them, it had taken a while until they stopped beating around the bush.  
  
Uranus and Neptune were after him, but why? Did they hold him responsible for Usako's death? After all she had risked her life, trying to save him. Maybe they blamed him for that.  
  
What did Rei have to do with it? What was Rei hiding? The others had guessed it, why couldn't he? Had Rei and Usagi been rivals? Haruka had accused her of taking Usagi's place! What if Rei had been after the leadership of the Senshi? If Usagi's death had served her just right? Even if she hadn't played an active part in the killing, maybe she had known about the letter and hadn't stopped Usagi from leaving.  
  
He had never paid much attention to their constant quarreling. He hadn't taken it serious. What if it had been? But this was impossible! Rei would never betray Usagi like that.  
  
He thought of the paper, the letter to Usagi had been written on! It was the same paper shrines used for calligraphies, lucky charms and so on. They would have this kind of paper at the Hikawa shrine. No, what was he thinking about? Impossible!  
  
The girl who had saved him, turned out to be Sailor Mercury. He would never have guessed it was her, since she had fired off the first attack. Good plan! Uranus and Neptune wouldn't expect this either. Looked like they were save for the moment.  
  
They climbed out another manhole, at the bottom of a hill. At its top he could see the highway, the lights of the cars. Night had fallen over Tokyo.  
  
Mercury called the others over her communicator. "Everything went according to plan, Tuxedo Kamen is with me. Did you guys get out all right? Okay! Over and out!"  
  
She turned to him. "The others are fine. We'll meet later. Makoto is still being tracked by Michiru, but she says she'll shake her off."  
  
"Aren't you forgetting someone?" a cold voice suddenly asked from the darkness. Sailor Mercury and Tuxedo Kamen spun around.  
  
***  
  
Sailor Mars had met up with Venus and Jupiter, who had managed to get rid of Neptune. They were hurrying to the park, where the Senshi had planned on meeting. Since they had just talked to Mercury, there was nothing to worry about. Up until now, everything had worked out fine, now they had to make sure, things stayed that way.  
  
She hoped the others wouldn't speak of the things Uranus had said, wouldn't notice how hurt she felt. But it was certain they would.  
  
"I can't believe she said something like that! Sometimes Haruka can really be mean!" Venus shook her head in disbelief. "We all know, you would never do things like that! I mean you are kind of leading us right now, but someone had to take care of things. Someone had to make up a story for Mamoru, and someone had to figure out a plan, how we get away from the Outer Senshi! I couldn't have done it."  
  
"Sometimes I think, we're expecting too much from you," Jupiter added. "I mean, why should you have to do all this stuff? It's not any easier for you, than it's for us."  
  
She didn't want to admit it, but their words comforted her. Maybe it wasn't so bad at all, that they understood, she was not invincible. She had her strengths and weaknesses just like them, and possibly Haruka's remarks had brought that up.  
  
"You have been a great support to me," she told them. "We have to stick together and rely on each other. I'm sure that's what Usagi would want us to do."  
  
Jupiter sighed. "Why can't Haruka and Michiru understand, we're doing the right thing? Why do they believe, we're letting Usagi down?"  
  
"They see things differently than we do. It has always been that way, and it always will be. From their point of view, they're doing the right thing."  
  
"I don't believe it!" Jupiter shouted. "Haruka said these incredible things about you, and you still defend her."  
  
"I try to understand her point of view. She loves Usagi as much as we do, and she feels as much pain as we do."  
  
The Senshi nodded. "Do you think this is still part of Queen Metallia's plan?" Venus was wondering. "Us fighting?"  
  
Mars shook her head. "Metallia couldn't have known the Outer Senshi would react that way. She is not familiar with them. Besides, only few people are cold-blooded enough to make up a plan, that goes beyond their own death."  
  
"Rei-chan, no matter what Haruka says, we would never doubt your loyalty. I don't know, what you feel for Mamoru, and I don't wanna know, it's none of my business. You protect him, because you promised Usagi, just like we all did. For no other reason! You never gave us any reason to believe anything else!"  
  
Something inside her wanted to push Venus away, as she took her in her arms, but she knew, she wouldn't be able to do that. It felt strange to be comforted, since she had always been the one to give comfort to the others. But now she needed it for herself, probably had needed it for a long time. Someone, who simply held her and didn't ask any questions.  
  
She felt like crying, but she knew, this wasn't the right time. The short moment in which she let go, was over. Now she had to keep her mind focused. And she was having a bad feeling again.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it, Minako-chan. Whatever you think, please never mention anything to Mamoru. I couldn't bear the thought, that he would..."  
  
"You guys!" Jupiter shouted. "Mercury's not responding, something must be wrong!"  
  
Mars and Venus let go of each other. "We have to find them!" 


	15. The Cat and the Grandfather

@all. Sorry, it took me so long, *hides under the table* I was very busy with college and with my other stories. But over Christmas I had some time left, so here comes the big fight.  
  
@Caoilte: To answer your question, it's not the first fic I've ever written, but it is the first one in English. *g*.  
  
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Chapter 14 - The Cat und the Grandfather  
  
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Uranus' attack blasted them back, right into the next wall. She charged at Tuxedo Kamen, her blade flashing under the night sky, in the dim light of the stars.  
  
But Mercury was faster. With a few quick moves she stepped before him, trying to block Uranus' arm with hers. The sword could have sliced her easily, but Uranus dropped it at once, attacking Mercury with her fists instead.  
  
"Run!" Mercury shouted. "I'll keep her busy!"  
  
He didn't want to leave her, but in this situation, it seemed the best way to keep her out of trouble. Uranus wasn't after Mercury that was obvious. If he ran away she would surely leave Ami alone and chase after him.  
  
But his plan didn't work at all, Uranus didn't try to follow him. Instead she knocked Mercury unconscious, lifted her up and began walking away, carrying the other Senshi. He stopped at once and raced back. "Let her go!" he yelled. "It's not her, you want!"  
  
"Smart kid!" Uranus said, without turning around. She completely ignored him, as he ran towards her. Then, it seemed like an eternity, she slowly turned around. Very carefully she put Mercury down on the ground.  
  
"I knew, you'd come back," she said coldly. "Looks like it's one on one, now!"  
  
He met her gaze, and saw the hatred flaming up in her eyes. He had no idea, what she hated him for and why she wanted to kill him. The only explanation he could think of, was that she somehow held him responsible for Usagi's death.  
  
"What have you done to Ami?" he demanded to know.  
  
"She'll probably have a little headache, when she wakes up". Uranus shrugged. "But don't worry, you won't live to see it."  
  
"Don't be so sure about that!"  
  
They thought the same thing, the very same moment. As she tried to race past him, he threw a rose to the ground, and she stumbled over it. She was back on her feet in seconds, but it was enough time for him. He was the first to reach the sword.  
  
He grabbed it with his left hand, since he was holding his staff with the other one, pointing both weapons at her. She stopped a few steps before him, just out of reach, eyeing him like a cat ready to jump.  
  
"Why do you want to kill me?" he asked her. "What have I done to you?"  
  
"This is not about me!" she hissed. "Don't pretend to be stupid, you know exactly what this is about!"  
  
He threw the sword at her feet. She laughed scornfully, as she took it up. "Looks like I was wrong, you really are stupid. Incredibly stupid!"  
  
They circled each other, slowly, carefully, never taking their eyes off each other. Their gazes were locked, nobody would make the mistake of looking at the opponent's weapon instead. That was a sure thing to lose a battle. Eyes told first, long before the body moved.  
  
Her first blow was no more than a feint, easily blocked, since she was still trying to hide her true strength. She did not make the mistake of getting carried away by her anger, her head was cool, no matter how much she hated him. He could forget everything about provoking her, as he had planned. He had to find a new tactic.  
  
Normally a woman would rather rely on her dexterity, than on her strength, especially when fighting a man. Then the best thing you could do was to tire her out, until she couldn't move fast anymore.  
  
It was a good thing, that he had seen her fight so often. He knew exactly the old cliché didn't go for her at all. All that dancing around was not to be taken serious, it was nothing more than make-believe.  
  
The hard blows didn't take him by surprise, he dodged them, rather than blocking them, trying not to tire his arms. That was something she hadn't expected at all, she responded with a series of fast and powerful strikes going higher and higher up. Now dodging became extremely difficult, once he felt her sword brushing his shoulder. It was mere fortune, that she didn't draw blood.  
  
But his chance to break through her defences was approaching. The harder the blow, the harder to keep the balance. And all those high strikes left the lower part of her body completely undefended.  
  
His arms were still relaxed, and his first real attack pulled her legs away. She managed to roll off to the side, as she fell, avoiding the next strike, but he knew he had her now. He didn't let her get back on her feet. He put all of his strength into his next blows, again, and again the staff came down on her. She had no chance to block. In a last desperate attempt she brought up the sword, but the staff blocked it easily.  
  
But the very moment he thought he had won the battle, luck was on her side for a change. Her blade slid along the staff, cutting into his left hand. His grip loosened, she took the chance for another blow, ripping the staff from his hands. It swished through the air, landing several feet behind him.  
  
He did the very thing, one should never do in a fight, he turned his back to her trying to catch the staff. An incredible carelessness! Her sword reached for his back, this could have been his end. If only her legs had carried her, she would have pierced him right through. But she dropped to the ground again, it had been too much for her.  
  
He stumbled away more than he walked. As soon as he had brought some distance between them, he sat down, hoping she wouldn't notice, that he needed the break every bit as much as she did.  
  
He was still mad at himself, for making such a stupid mistake, but it wouldn't do any good wrecking his brains about it now. At least it wasn't the right hand, so the injury wouldn't be that much of a problem.  
  
He looked over to her, just like him she was gathering new strength. She lay on the side, with her long legs stretched out, testing if she could still move all of her muscles. Again he couldn't help, but thinking of a large cat, lurking for prey.  
  
She gave him a crooked smile. "Looks like the round went to you! This time!" To him it looked much more like a draw, but of course he didn't say so.  
  
"You know," he said, "I really would feel much better, if I knew what this was all about."  
  
She yawned. "Maybe I tell you, before I kill you!"  
  
"Is it about Saturday?" he wanted to know. "I don't have any memories at all of this night. The Inner Senshi know what happened, but they didn't tell me!"  
  
"The Inner Senshi don't know nothing!" She scowled. "Inners never get anything right! If they had killed the seven devils in the first place, none of this would ever have happened."  
  
The seven devils? What did they have to do with it all? True, they had been Queen Beryl's and Queen Metallia's servants a long time ago, but the Senshi had defeated them and turned them back into humans.  
  
And a cat.  
  
A cat? The letter to Usagi had mentioned a cat. She was supposed to follow a cat to meet with Metallia and surrender the Holy Silver Crystal...  
  
"Was Metallia powerful enough to wake up the seven devils again?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"Not to fight, no!" Uranus shook her head. "But she managed to take control over the mind of Rei's grandfather for a few minutes, so he could write the letter to Usagi, and she used that damn cat to lure her down that cave. That was all. But it was damn enough!"  
  
So the letter had been written in the Hikawa Shrine after all. Another piece of the puzzle. Had Metallia also used the demons to kidnap him? But who had taken his memories away and why? And how much did Uranus know about it? Had she been there, when the battle started or had someone told her what happened?  
  
Uranus jumped to her feet. "It doesn't change anything! Only your blood will color your roses red again, Tuxedo Kamen!" With raised sword she waited for him to approach. That was not at all like her at all, he would have expected her to charge. What new trick was she playing?  
  
They circled each other, this time she seemed to wait for him to attack. Probably she was waiting for him to make a false move. He decided to let her wait a little more, maybe she would lose some of her watchfulness.  
  
Again she gave him that crooked smile of hers, as if this was simply a game to her. It was, in a way. She loved to fight, loved the thrill of the adrenalin rushing through her veins. The fascination of battle was something you wouldn't admit in your wildest dreams, yet it was there. It sparkled right out of her eyes, and he wouldn't be able to read it there, if he didn't know how it felt. It broke into your mind, ripping all thoughts apart. It reduced the human mind to that of animal. No thoughts, only instinct. No questions. No pain.  
  
His attack was a real one; he felt the anger rise up inside him. She jumped aside. Did he only imagine it, or had her movement slowed? Maybe that was the reason she was being more careful, she was hurt and didn't want to show it.  
  
That made her even more dangerous. And it could also be a trick; she wanted him to lower his defences. He didn't take the risk, of putting his full strength into the next attacks, he wouldn't betray any weak spot to her.  
  
If she noticed, they were half-hearted, she didn't show. She treated all of them quite serious, with graceful dodging maneuvers. Only her blocks seemed as if she had lost strength. It was incredibly confusing, he didn't know what to make of it.  
  
His attacks grew harder, he wanted to know, how much she could take. She finally responded, her next blows were aimed high. Should he try it again? His staff reached for her feet.  
  
She jumped, spinning around in the air, and bringing her sword down on him. There was absolutely no time to raise the staff high enough to block, so he dropped to the ground, hoping to avoid the worst. The blade hit his left shoulder, leaving a slight wound.  
  
Instinctively his right hand reached for it. All she had to do was to step on the left one, which was injured anyway to make him drop the staff. "Never use the same trick twice," she said throwing it as far away as possible. "You got me pretty bad before, should've finished me off, when you had the chance to!" So it had not been a trick after all, her injuries were real.  
  
He had hesitated too long.  
  
"We were even, Tuxedo Kamen-sama," she said, placing the tip of her sword on his chest, "it was fate, that decided our battle. Did you know, there was a law in ancient Europe, that a duel could figure out the truth, whether someone had committed a crime or not? They believed fate would protect the innocent, and punish the guilty."  
  
He looked straight into her eyes. "So did they have another law, never to tell people the reason why they were killed, or was that in a different place?"  
  
"Don't try to gain time, it won't do you any good. Now get up! I won't slay you in the dirt like a dog."  
  
She didn't believe him! She absolutely didn't believe him. She just couldn't understand, that he didn't know the truth, because his memories had been erased. Did she think, he was putting up an act? She should know better.  
  
He stood up, and forced himself not to close his eyes. She would have to look into them. "I can't ask you to forgive me", she said softly, "since I can't forgive you either. I am not like her!"  
  
"All I can say is, that I don't know what happened that night!" he repeated. "I have absolutely no memory. Why would I lie to you? This really isn't the moment for playing games. All I want, is the truth!"  
  
Finally, at last there seemed to be some reaction in her eyes. They blinked, and then slowly widened with disbelief, as she seemed to realize he was speaking the truth. "But how can this be? How can you not know?"  
  
"I. don't. remember. How often do I have to say it? All these days I tried to find the truth, and no one will tell me! You don't know how much I've suffered. Things can't get any worse."  
  
She let out a cold laugh. "You suffered? Not as much as she did, that's for sure! And I'm telling you, things are much, much worse. Much more than you could imagine even in your wildest dreams! What's the last thing you remember?"  
  
"I was driving home from a friend, Saturday night. My memories end somewhere during that drive. I can't remember how I got home later."  
  
Uranus nodded. "That must have been, when she..."  
  
"Venus Love Me Chain!"  
  
The chain of hearts wrapped around Uranus, pulling her away. Three figures came running out from the darkness. 


	16. Hands

@ all: Once again, sorry it took so long. I was very busy at the university, but now, I have spring break, so I have a little time. The next chapter won't take so long, I promise.  
  
Also I would like to thank Maria, Karla, Lady Sylver, Shimmering Angel, Leeza, bodri, Star-Moon, and all the other readers for their feedback, and their interest in the story. Pretty soon we will find out more about the night when everything happened.  
  
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Chapter 15 - Hands  
  
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If he had been powerful enough to banish the Inner Senshi back to the moon, he surely would have done so. Not even the fact that they had just saved his life changed anything about it. He had been so close to the truth, so close... Uranus was about to tell him, she hadn't taken a vow like the others. Maybe he could get to talk to her later, but for now he could forget all about it.  
  
Uranus struggled against Venus' chain of hearts. Mars ran over to the still unconscious Mercury, while Jupiter yelled at him to run away.  
  
They were three against one, they could get by. Once he was gone, there would be nothing left to fight over.  
  
How unhappy Usagi would be, if she knew about this turn of events. He only hoped that she did not. It would break her heart. If she had been there, she could have stopped the fighting. No matter how different the goals of the Senshi had been, Usagi always knew how to keep the peace. But with her gone, there was no chance to make them realize how incredibly stupid this was. None of it made sense.  
  
He left, because he was so sick and tired of it all. They could fight all night, if it was what they wanted. He didn't care anymore. Just let them fight...  
  
Somehow he made it back to his car and drove home to his apartment. His shoulder hurt, and he didn't give a damn, if anyone found out, he was back home. What did it matter anyway? Nothing mattered anymore.  
  
He finally fell asleep, hoping to avoid any nightmares. It was past midnight already. It was Friday!  
  
Friday! The day he had last seen her! Friday, a week ago! The day his world wasn't broken yet. Her smile, her scent, the tender touch of her lips. Moments forever locked in his memory. Her hair swishing over his face, her skin burning under the touch of his hands. Her breath tickling his throat as it went faster, softly caressing his skin, whenever it slowed. The short moments of pain, when she pressed her chin into his shoulder. The warmth of her body, suddenly gone, as she rolled off to the side.  
  
She lay curled up like a kitten, her head resting on his arm. Sweat glistened on her face, and her wrinkled school uniform revealed much more than it was supposed to. Like always, he couldn't help but think of the future - the day, when they finally would be getting married, and well - things would be a little different then...  
  
He understood well, that she was exhausted now, so he left her alone for a while. Although it was difficult. Very difficult.  
  
But as he noticed, she was breathing very slowly and regularly, he called her name. She didn't respond.  
  
He shook her a little. "Usako!"She gave a sigh and snuggled closer to him.  
  
"Usako, no! You can't sleep just now. That's not fair! Usako!"He shook her a little harder.  
  
She opened one eye and closed it again. Then she turned around and buried her face in the pillow.  
  
It was hopeless. Usagi had the rare talent of sleeping, wherever she dropped, and once she was asleep it was one hell of a job waking her up. Too much for his patience right now. Oh, well!  
  
A few minutes later, he went to the bathroom.  
  
He was still busy washing his hands, when he heard her scampering around again. "Mamo-chan, do you have a brush? I can't find mine, and my hair is so incredibly messy. Oh my gosh, look at my uniform. My mom will freak!"  
  
He leaned at the bathroom door, regarding her with a mischievous smile. "Well, you should've taken it off!"  
  
She gave a shriek, and her face turned bright red. "Mamo-chan! You're disgusting!" She finally found the brush, did her hair, and put the brush back into her school bag. "I really have to get going, I'll be late anyway! Can we meet tomorrow?"  
  
"You know, I have to work tomorrow, and in the evening I'm going to the theater with Saori."  
  
"I'll be sitting at home all alone, while you're having fun with other girls. Will you at least call me, when you get back?"  
  
"Sorry, but I have no idea when I'll get back. We'll probably have a drink somewhere, and it may get late. You can't always make such a fuss when I'm going out with my friends. I'm sure Saori's boyfriend doesn't do that either."  
  
"Saori has a new boyfriend?" Usagi shouted with glee, "why didn't you say so before? I hope, it's serious this time!"  
  
She rushed to the door, but she turned around again, giving him a long, tender kiss. He held her close, wishing the moment to last forever. It had not.  
  
Mamoru opened his eyes, at least there hadn't been any nightmares this time. These memories at least were clear without any riddles! Although the memories didn't hurt any less. Usako couldn't be dead! Their kiss seemed only moments away. It simply wasn't possible!  
  
Despite all of his researching, and investigations there was one thing he had not done. He tried to convince himself, that he hadn't thought of it, but he couldn't deceive himself that easily. He had hoped to avoid it. He had hoped, it wouldn't be necessary. But he would never know the truth, if he didn't know what she had died of.  
  
By early afternoon he was done phoning all the mortuaries in Juuban.  
  
"Are you a relative?" the tiny woman with the round face wanted to know.  
  
"Yes." It was the truth after all. "I'm her fiancé."  
  
The woman eyed him dubiously, then she nodded. "This way, please."  
  
He knew this would be hard. But it wasn't the first time he saw a dead body after all, so it probably wouldn't prove such a shock to him. There were worse things after all. After everything he had been through, it didn't really matter. If he just didn't think about it, he would be all right.  
  
But it wasn't. It was, as if something inside him tried to strangle him, he gasped for air and couldn't get any. For one moment he thought he would faint, faint like a girl, then he had himself under control again. The moment he had feared so much, had finally come. He couldn't lie to himself anymore. She was gone, and she would never come back.  
  
Her pale slender figure seemed to be carved out of stone, more like a marble statue than a human being. He couldn't help thinking of the queen of Crystal Tokyo sleeping in her crystal shrine. Only she wasn't sleeping. And she would never be queen, because the future had changed.  
  
Whatever had happened to her, she must have met it with great calmness and serenity, since her face didn't show any signs of pain or fear. Hopefully, Haruka was wrong, maybe she didn't have to suffer that much after all.  
  
He remembered Rei's different versions of the story, at first she had claimed, Usagi had been dead right away. But yesterday she had told him, Usagi had still been alive, when she found her. The second version made more sense, it would explain the promise the Senshi gave her. But what did Usagi want to keep from him and why?  
  
He asked the round-faced woman to leave him alone for a little while. As soon as she was out the door, he pulled back the sheet. There wouldn't be much time, but it was enough to take a quick look at Usagi's injuries.  
  
It wasn't difficult to see, that heavy objects had fallen on her, her whole body was bruised and battered. Many bones were broken. Her neck, too, it was not unlikely, that this had been the mortal injury. So far it made sense, considering she could have been hit by the rocks, as the cave broke down.  
  
It also didn't go against Rei's first story about the barrels in the storehouse. There were ways to find out more about the objects, that had hit her, how sharp they were, or how heavy, but that wasn't the point. He was looking for something else. If Metallia had killed Usagi by letting rocks fall on her, the Senshi wouldn't have to keep it a secret.  
  
He examined her broken neck more closely. The large bruise going all the way down her throat to her chest showed that this injury was also caused by one of the heavy objects. Barrels? Or maybe the rocks in the broken cave?  
  
Yet something about it seemed strange to him. It was something about her throat.  
  
The large bruise was hiding them well, if you didn't know what you were looking for. And since no one had had any reason to believe she died of an unnatural cause, no one had been looking.  
  
But these were finger marks. Marks of strangulation. He was absolutely sure about it.  
  
Whatever had happened down there, wasn't simply the doing of an energy being. Someone else had been involved.  
  
Someone with hands. 


	17. End of a journey

Chapter 16 - End of a Journey  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
As the different pieces of the puzzle slowly came together again, they started forming a picture, no more than a shadowy image. It was not a good kind of picture.  
  
This time he would not wait for the numb feeling inside him to fade. This time he would not wait for another wave of pain to take control. He would not go through the same thing over and over again. Pain and repression, hope and hopelessness. Memories and nightmares.  
  
He wanted Haruka to tell him the truth. That was all he wanted.  
  
He pulled the sheet back over Usagi's body, but not over her face, that was something he had never liked. One last time he looked at her closed eyelids, drowning in her angelic features. He bent over her, but he wasn't able to touch her lips with his. "No," he said softly, "no, I am not going to kiss you. Our last kiss was, when your eyes were still bright, speaking of the love you feel for me. I would not dishonor such a precious moment by touching these cold lips of yours. Forever I will keep your kiss inside my heart, and I take it with me to eternity."  
  
Haruka wasn't home, so he left a message for her, asking her to meet him at the hill where they had carried out their battle. He would be there Saturday night, that left her more than a day to get the message. Sometime during that time she would probably be home.  
  
Saturday morning was cold and sunny. He had slept, trying to find out more from the dream, but his sleep had been dreamless. It didn't matter, he still could recall it as clearly, as if it was no dream at all, but a memory.  
  
In the afternoon, he left his apartment, trying to make his way to the place, where he had fought Haruka. Since they had reached it from the underground last time, it wasn't easy to find, but by nightfall he was there. He stopped the car at the side of the street and looked down the hill. There was no sign of Haruka.  
  
What if his dream wasn't a dream at all? What if it truly was a memory, just like that other one he had about Usagi? He always had thought of dreams as kind of messages about the future, what if it wasn't a message at all? He had tried to interpret it in many different ways, what if he had to take it the way it was?  
  
No hidden message. Just a memory of things how they really happened.  
  
The cars thundered by, their lights cutting through the darkness. The darkness in his dream had felt like a living being. Rising up inside him, blinding his eyes and taking away his personality. He had tried to fight it, but to no effect.  
  
The dreams didn't come when he was sleeping in his bed. They came to him in the car. Always in the car. Very few exceptions.  
  
The first time the darkness came, had been in the car. And it hadn't been the dream he had, while waiting at Tanaka's place. It was much earlier.  
  
He was driving home from Saori's apartment, Saturday night, when the world had faded. He couldn't remember if he had reached home safely. He couldn't remember anything at all. The darkness had been there. It had attacked him in the car, so subtle, that he didn't even notice. And when it left, he had been in the cave. It had left him only for a very short while. Not because, he had successfully driven it away. Simply because it wanted to.  
  
The phone rang. Good! Haruka would certainly know more.  
  
"Mamoru-san," Rei's voice sounded very relieved, "thank God, you're alright! Where are you? We were so worried."  
  
"I'm fine, there's really no reason to worry. How's Ami?"  
  
"Everything's alright with her, she's here. Do you want to talk to her?"  
  
"No, not now!" It was well possible, Ami could figure out, where he was, if he talked too long. He didn't want to take the risk.  
  
"Rei-san, there's something I've been wanting to tell you," he began softly. "All the time I've been mad at you, and the others, because you lied to me. I even believed you could be responsible for Usagi's death..."  
  
"Why are you telling me this now?" Rei asked with rising panic in her voice.  
  
"Because it was very wrong of me to think such things." He took a deep breath. "I should've known better. All you ever did, was keeping your promise to her. I've said a lot of things to you, which I now regret. I'm so sorry for causing you so much trouble. Farewell, Rei-chan, you're the best friend anyone could ever wish for."  
  
"Mamoru, don't hang up, please" Rei cried, "It's not your fault! Please don't......"  
  
He hung up the phone. He was glad, there had been a chance to apologize to Rei, but he didn't want to drag her further into this.  
  
He still didn't believe, how he could have gotten such a wrong image of her. After all, he had known her for a very long time. And not just in this life.  
  
He dialed Haruka's number. She was home this time, she hadn't gotten his message and was extremely surprised at his call. But she would come as soon as possible. It would take her about an hour if traffic wasn't too bad.  
  
And she would tell him the truth. Now all he had to do was wait.  
  
He walked down the hill, away from the street. The noise of the cars grew softer. Their light mingled with the light of the stars in the night sky. The moon was there, too, silvery, a slender sickle. A few days ago she had been gone. And to him she was gone for all times, and would never again rise in the night sky.  
  
A noise made him turn around. A shadow. A girl.  
  
She stood behind him, and her eyes seemed to keep the answers to all the secrets, he had been searching for. He had never noticed before, how strange those eyes were, dark and mysterious like the ocean. You could drown in them, if you looked too long.  
  
"Haruka has never gotten your message," she said, "because I erased it." As she came closer, he could see, she was holding something in her hands. It was the rose, he had thrown earlier during the battle with Uranus, and even in the dark, he could see that its petals were black.  
  
"At the end of a long journey," she said, "one always encounters oneself." 


	18. Mirror Mirror

Chapter 17 - Mirror, Mirror  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
"Why are you here, Michiru-san, or should I say Sailor Neptune? To tell me the truth?"  
  
His eyes narrowed. "Or to give me another one of your pills? You would have been better of killing me, instead of writing that stupid letter!"  
  
"I'm afraid, you don't understand. If I killed you, or Haruka did, what difference would it make to the Inner Senshi? They would still fight us. Rei and Haruka are extremely stubborn, both of them. None of them would give in. And the only person who could always prevent a war between the Sailor Senshi, is gone."  
  
What she said, sounded so damn logical "So you figured, if I killed myself, the problem would be solved. Then Haruka wouldn't have to worry about killing me, and the Inners wouldn't have to worry about protecting me. Everybody could keep their damn vows, and everybody would be happy! You're as cold as a fish!"  
  
Anger rose in her voice, as she shouted back: "Am I? If I could prevent a war by giving my life, I would surely do so! But I am a Sailor Senshi after all! Obviously it's expected to much of a simple boy to know there is something called honor!"  
  
"Don't talk to me about honor! All these days I've scraped the truth together, bit by bit and piece by piece. And all of you knew what happened!"  
  
He was furious. "The Inners made a promise to Usagi and it's hard enough to see things from their point of view. I don't see yours at all! Do you know how hard it was convincing Haruka, that I had no idea why she was after me? She may have her reasons for hating me, but I have the right to know why! And let me tell you one thing, if you knew the least about honor, you would've written your damn name under that damn letter!"  
  
"I assumed, you knew..."  
  
"So you did, didn't you? You assumed! All I knew, was that I woke up one Sunday morning, and the girl I love more than anything in this world, was dead. My memory was gone, and everybody kept lying to me. What would you do in my situation?"  
  
That question apparently confused her. "You must admit, your story doesn't sound very convenient," she said, avoiding a direct answer. "You claim that someone took your memory, and therefore you don't remember what happened. That excuse is getting kind of worn out, don't you think?"  
  
"You guys think, you're so smart, don't you? Did it ever appear to you, that there were battles, you weren't involved in, enemies you have never fought?"  
  
"You know, why!" she shouted, for the first time she had lost her temper, too. "The Senshi of the Outer Circle don't awake, if there isn't a danger from outer space."  
  
"That's not the point! All I'm saying is there are things, you don't know firsthand. You weren't there, when Metallia started the war between Earth and Moon, and you haven't been here when she returned, using Beryl and my former friends to restore the Dark Kingdom. Metallia and Beryl managed to take control over me, turning me against the Sailor Senshi."  
  
She nodded. "Yes, I've heard of it!"  
  
"You've heard of it, but you haven't been there, that's the difference! Otherwise you would understand, that no one took my memories away. I've never had any! I can't remember anything I did under Metallia's influence, because I haven't been myself at that time. I didn't even know, that I was under her influence this time, until I saw the black rose."  
  
Thoughtfully she turned the rose between her fingers. "But you weren't under her influence anymore when you fought Haruka. Why is it still black then?"  
  
"Honestly I don't know. It shouldn't be. But there are still many things I don't know."  
  
"So you believe, you are not responsible for the things you do, when you're under Metallia's influence?"  
  
"Again I don't know. But Haruka promised, she would tell me the truth. That's why I wanted to talk to her."  
  
"So the Inner Senshi took a vow not to tell you," Thoughtfully she searched his eyes for any sign of a lie, but couldn't find any. "Rei said so too, according to her words it was Usagi's wish that you wouldn't be told. But we thought, all of this was an act to deceive us. When Haruka, Setsuna and I arrived, the battle was already over."  
  
"The battle was over?" he asked disbelieving. "So how can you be so sure, what happened?"  
  
She put the rose on the ground. Something appeared between her fingers, something round, shimmering like a full moon. It was the mirror, that had told her so many secrets before.  
  
The mirror! Of course, this was how the Outers could figure it out. As Neptune ran a hand over it, a picture formed. He bent over the mirror, trying to look.  
  
"The truth is more horrible, than anything you can imagine," she said, the words barely coming out of her mouth.  
  
"Honestly, after all I've been through, this week, I can imagine a lot."  
  
"It's nothing! All you've ever been through is nothing compared to this."  
  
She stretched out her arms, handing him the mirror. Her hands were trembling so hard she almost dropped it. He could see the fear in her eyes. The ocean inside them had turned into a pool of whirling waters. He held her hands a moment longer than necessary, but his touch couldn't warm them. She was afraid, very afraid.  
  
The images in the mirror were the ones from his nightmare. He recognized them at once, although they were from a different perspective. In his memories, of course, everything was from his own point of view. In here he didn't only see Usagi, but himself, too. He was Endymion, the prince of Earth.  
  
They were in the cave, but it looked very different from the way he knew it. There were no broken rocks, and there was a strange light emerging from the pit. Tiny sparks were blown through the air, and he could hear something liquid flowing between the rocks. He even could feel the heat, or was his memory playing a trick on him?  
  
Usagi stood a distance away, looking at him. She wore the dress of Princess Serenity, her gown flowing as she ran towards him..  
  
He took a few careful steps towards her. She didn't rush into his arms, as one would have expected, but stopped before him to look at him, as if she feared he was an illusion. This time, he could understand clearly what she said: "Is that really you, Mamo-chan? At last I've found you!"  
  
"Aishite, Usako!"he whispered.  
  
She smiled at him. She stood on tiptoes to reach his mouth. Her face came closer, she turned it to get her nose out of the way.  
  
The moment that had seemed so endlessly long in his dream, took no longer than an instant in reality. Maybe something deep inside him, was still fighting the darkness, but it was useless anyway.  
  
Serenity was totally taken by surprise. She didn't even have time to scream, as Endymion's hand shot forward, gripping her throat. She tried to struggle, but she couldn't breathe, and her strength was fading. She was about to lose consciousness, when he flung her to the ground. There was an ugly crunching sound, as if bones were breaking, and she cried out in pain.  
  
He bent over her, his hand reaching for her throat again, pulling her up. His face was so close to hers, as if he wanted to study every sign of agony in it. Metallia was taking her time, long enough had she waited for this moment.  
  
It was then, Serenity's expression changed. The fear left her eyes, her features were no longer twisted. It was if she knew exactly what was going to happen, and that there was nothing she could do about it anymore.  
  
Tenderly her gaze met his, there was no reproach in it, as she whispered: "It's not your fault, Mamo-chan, I know it's not your fault."  
  
She bent her head, the only part of her body she could still move, as if she wanted to steal one last kiss from his lips before the light left her eyes. But somehow she wasn't able to.  
  
"No," she said softly, "no, I am not going to kiss you. Our last kiss was, when your eyes were still bright, speaking of the love you feel for me. I would not dishonor such a precious moment by touching these cold lips of yours. Forever I will keep your kiss inside my heart, and I take it with me to eternity."  
  
She closed her eyes, as his hand squeezed her throat again, lifting her up, and pulling her towards the abyss. The Inner Senshi, with Mars in the lead came running through the tunnel, firing attacks down the pit, into the strange light.  
  
As Metallia released her grip on Endymion, concentrating on them now, he fell to the ground, losing consciousness. The ground shook, parts of the ceiling came down on them. Rocks hit Serenity, strangely enough none of them hit Endymion, who lay right next to her. Mars rushed towards them, while the others tried to keep Metallia busy. But it seemed an incredibly long time, before she reached them. She knelt down next to Serenity and cradled her head in her lap. Serenity's eyelids fluttered, but she wasn't able to open them anymore. Her last words were no more than a mere whisper: "Protect him, Rei-chan ... he must never know!"  
  
The picture froze. The images stopped so suddenly, that it seemed like someone had stopped time itself. A blast of magma emerging from the pit stood right in the air.  
  
Then it came down again. Serenity's transformation faded away, now she was only Usagi, a young girl, whose heart had been filled with crazy dreams for the future. A future she would never have.  
  
As the images in the mirror faded, he was unable to move or speak. The ghastly dread inside him paralyzed his entire body. He kept staring at his hands, as if he couldn't believe, what he had done with them. Metallia's dark powers were no excuse. It was his fault alone.  
  
What had happened the first time he had been under Metallia's influence? The Senshi, including Usagi claimed that Sailor Moon's powers had freed him, before anything could happen. He had never really turned against her, the sole reason for her death had been the energy-drain from the Silver Crystal. But she had used its powers many other times, and survived. It didn't make any sense!  
  
They hadn't told him the truth back then either. They had never told him, what really had happened. 


	19. Written in the Stars

**_Chapter 18 – Written in the Stars_**

-------------------------------------------

Neptune took his hand, and put something in it. Without looking he knew it to be a small capsule, just like the one that came with the letter.

"It seems you got an entire collection of those," he said.

"No, we had two of them, in case one of us got captured by the Death Busters," she answered. "But that was quite some time ago, and we have no use for them anymore. I leave the decision what you do with it to you. I understand now that none of this was your fault and I think Haruka will, too, if you give her some time. You were right, this is about incidents we weren't involved in, battles we haven't fought! But who can say, what will happen? If this war continues, I'll stay by her side. That is my vow, and I intend to keep it, come what may!"

His eyes narrowed. "I don't need the damn thing!" he snarled, throwing the pill away. "I'll do this my way! Don't worry, the war won't continue!"

He reached for the black rose on the ground, felt its tip as sharp as a knife. The first time she flinched and gave a cry of disbelief. The second time she turned away from him, covering her face with her hands.

Almost immediately a coppery smell started to spread out, filling the air. As he threw the rose at her feet, tiny dark droplets sprayed from its petals.

"War's over," he said with bitter satisfaction in his voice. "You better leave, before you get sick, little girl!"

She turned around and faced him. "Believe me, I've seen worse things! I just don't understand why you have to do this to yourself!"

"No you don't! Haruka would, maybe. I can't blame her for hating me, I would do the same if I was in her shoes. But it doesn't really matter anymore. Just go away and leave me alone!"

As the first wave of dizziness swept through him, he sat down in the grass; he didn't want to show her any weakness by falling to the ground. The pain in his arms slowly faded, as life ran from his veins, what stayed was the pain inside. And the emptiness. He had lost all hope long ago.

He wanted her to leave, yet he was grateful, she stayed. She couldn't possibly know that, but maybe she did anyway. Sometimes people understood each other without words. Sometimes it was possible.

Neptune knelt down next to him, a little more up the hill. He stared to the ground, avoiding her eyes. "You're wrong," he said, "it was my fault, all of it was my fault. Maybe I would've been better off never knowing the truth. But that wouldn't change anything, will it? Now that I've lost her forever... Nothing can change the past. Isn't it bad enough, that I can never hold her in arms again? But this, this is hell!"

"Don't rack your brains about things like that; you'll only make yourself unhappy. After all, you don't have to worry about losing her, she forgave you already. She forgave you, even as it happened."

"It's just not fair. It seemed like peace was finally stable. It seemed like we could finally be happy, and didn't have to worry about enemies. It's just not fair."

"No", she said, "it's not. It never is. But you should be grateful for the happiness you had in this life, instead of complaining."

"You can be incredibly cruel, do you know that?"

"I'm sorry if it seems that way to you. I keep forgetting, you're no Sailor Senshi, so this must be even harder for you, than it is for us. But as you said, nothing can change the past. Or the future. None of us ever had a choice. We are, who we are, and we have to live with our destiny. And die. "

"But the future is already changed, changed completely! How will Crystal Tokyo ever exist without Queen Serenity?"

He finally looked into her eyes; she seemed even more confused than him. "Without Queen Serenity? What do you mean by that?"

A slight drowsiness overcame him; he leaned back against the hill, looking up in the sky. The stars became blurry for a few moments, and then everything went clear again. But it wouldn't take long anymore. Hopefully...

"A Crystal Tokyo without Queen Serenity," Neptune repeated, shaking her head in disbelief, "how did you get such a crazy thought into your head? You've seen our future with your own eyes. You know what will happen!"

"You just don't understand, Michiru-san, our future has changed! She is gone, she..." He wanted to sit up again, but his strength failed him, and he fell back. Neptune caught him, before he hit the ground and cradled his head in her lap.

"You're the one, who doesn't understand," she said, tenderly running her hand through his hair. "How could you ever, ever think such a foolish thing? You remind me of a small child, whose parents have gone out for the evening, and he thinks, they will never come back! Children don't understand the meaning of time yet, they can't tell a couple of hours from forever. Neither can you, if you think an incident like this could change anything about our future. I understand, this must seem like a turning point in history to you, after all it's probably the worst you've ever been through. I know as well as any of us that some things hurt real bad, and they don't hurt any less, no matter how often we go through them. But then there are other things, wonderful moments, I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

I don't know if anyone ever told you about this. There is an old legend, that every butterfly is the spirit of a Sailor Senshi, since girls' hearts have wings. And no matter for how long we are locked into a physical body, we never forget how to fly.

It seems, that whatever fate send us on our way, placed the greatest joy and the greatest suffering on the path before us, and we have to go on, no matter what. Only it shouldn't have placed such a heavy burden upon a boy's shoulders. That really isn't fair; it's just expected too much.

You really did think, you would never see her again, didn't you? You did believe all those moments you shared with her were gone for good, and you could never be happy together again! Now I finally understand why you're so desperate! But there really is no reason to be sad. Never cry for faded roses, Mamoru-san, for they will blossom anew, when spring comes. And the time will come, when all of our tears turn to crystal."

Gently, her fingers wiped his tears away. He resisted the urge to simply close his eyes, and doze off into the sweet comfort of her words. What she said, sounded so unbelievable, yet it seemed like a simple truth he wasn't able to see behind all the desperate thoughts racing through his mind. It was a hand stretched out to him, trying to keep him from falling into the bottomless pit. He just was afraid to take it, fearing it would be no more than an illusion.

"You're saying our future will take place? But how is this possible? How can you be so sure?"

"Can a harsh winter keep spring from returning? Can one missed note bring an end to an entire symphony? Our fate was written in the stars, even before they started to shine, and what are decades, even centuries to the stars? The entire 3rd Millennium is no more than a theme in the great tune of the universe, but it is a whole thousand years to us. Are you saying a thousand years isn't long enough for us to build Crystal Tokyo and to take our places in the cosmic order, as we were destined to? Even if it wasn't, we have all the time in the world. Time really means nothing. Keep that in mind, who knows how many years it will take, until you and the princess meet again."

"I only hope, it doesn't take too long. When she is not with me, every moment seems like a millennium."

That apparently amused Neptune. He couldn't see her face clearly anymore, but he heard her chuckle.

"I'm sorry,"she said, "I know you will call me cruel again, because I can laugh in a moment like this. But the words you've just said, I have to listen to them all the time. I know someone, who is just as impatient as you are, and she hates waiting for me, above all else. I really don't mind waiting, to be honest; I like the feeling, that there is this very special girl somewhere out there, even though I don't know her name, or what she looks like. All I know is that every day of my life brings me closer to the day I meet her and that makes me happy. She doesn't understand that at all, she says every moment without me is a torture to her.

But the day of our first meeting comes again and again, as sure as springtime, and every first time I look in her eyes, I know that I've found her. And then I don't ask how long our happiness will take this time, or how much pain there will be at our parting. In this very special moment there is no pain, and no death, it's like these words have never existed. All that exists, is the look in her eyes that makes every tear I ever cried, shine like a star.

I didn't have a chance to choose my destiny, but if I had, I would have wished for nothing else. For nothing can be stronger than this joy, and nothing can be more wonderful than this fate, that grants us this precious moment another time."

He couldn't see, if she was crying, but her voice sounded that way. It seemed, she was happy and sad at the same time, and so was he, her words had moved him deeply. As she continued to speak, it seemed more like a cosmic melody than a human voice, although he could clearly understand every word she said. And her words kept him from falling and brought hope back to his heart.

And as he looked up into her face, it seemed that someone stood behind her, at first it was no more than a shadowy figure. But strangely, the more blurry everything became around him, the more clearly he could see her. She also seemed to listen to Neptune's words, but he doubted Neptune would be able to notice her presence.

"It has been that way, since the beginning of all times", Neptune said softly. "We fight, we die, and we live again. She followed me into death, and I followed her through the deepest pits of hell. You can't tell me it was all for nothing. You can't tell me that all we ever fought for, all we ever believed in is nothing but an empty darkness. We were destined to be Sailor Senshi, and what could give us the strength to fight and never give in, if it wasn't love? How could we defend love if we didn't believe in it? And how could we love with all of our heart, if we didn't know its true strength?"

He forced his eyes open again; there was so much he wanted to tell her, and so little time. But there was no turning back anymore. He would follow the path he had chosen, to the bitter end. But he knew it wouldn't change anything. He couldn't escape his destiny.

"Michiru-chan," he whispered, surprised he could still get the words out. "You don't know how much I owe you. I thought I could never find hope again."

"You owe me nothing," she said firmly. "There was another time, when you did the same for me, so we're even now. But if you really want to do me a favor, do you remember what you said earlier? You said, you wouldn't blame Haruka for what happened. If that's truly what you think, could you please tell our princess? I don't want her to believe, it's all Haruka's fault. Unless, of course, you want to think about it, perhaps you..."

He shook his head. No, there was no turning back. This wasn't the right time to fight. Every part of him yearned for peace, no matter how short it would last.

Neptune seemed to understand. She got up, carefully putting him back on the ground. Then she reached for the rose, and as she laid it on his chest, he could see it slowly change color. As darkness spread out around him, its beautiful red petals still seemed to glow softly for a while.

"Farewell, Prince," Neptune said, kissing his closed eyelids. "This time, no bad dreams will trouble your sleep."

Her steps on the grass grew softer, finally fading away. But the trace of her presence didn't. It stayed around him like a warm breeze. And still, he wasn't alone.


	20. War

**_Chapter 19 - War_**

---------------------------------------

The girl hadn't moved, since the first image of her had appeared before him, and he could see her still. She stood motionless like a small statue, her dark hair framing her stern, child-like face. Only she was no longer a shadowy figure, as she stretched out her hand, he could touch it.

"I've come to guide you, Prince Endymion-sama," she said. "It seemed like you had lost your way."

"You're right, I was lost indeed. But I'm not anymore. You don't need to worry about me." Now that she was here, it was even harder to believe, that he had ever doubted the fate of the Sailor Senshi. It all seemed so natural to him now.

She was still holding his hand; he noticed there was no injury on it. It was then, he realized, he had left his physical body behind, but he resisted the temptation to turn around and look down.

Around him, was the grass and the sky, it didn't look any different than before. What had changed were the sounds, there was a strange whisper in the grass and in the air. But the strangest thing was that he could clearly hear his own heartbeat, going slower and slower. That scared him; he wanted to leave as fast as possible.

"I must wait," she said, as if she had guessed his thoughts, "There is another reason why I came here." Her almond eyes darkened with sorrow. "Someone else will join us on the path of shadows."

Was he only imagining something, or was there really a trace of sadness in her voice? It would be so completely unlike her. She, who was so indifferent towards life and death. She, who had to be! But this time it wasn't simply the reflection of the stars glittering in her eyes. Just who might she talking about? He couldn't think of anyone.

The next thing he heard was an incredibly loud and unpleasant screeching, the brakes of a car. Only a moment later he realized, the sound had actually brought him back to consciousness, he saw everything through his own eyes again. Up on the highway the braking Ferrari spun around, sliding towards the Porsche.

Mamoru flinched, and one moment later he was wondering, if this was really the right time to worry about his car. Nevertheless he gave a sigh of relief as the Ferrari finally came to a stop, being only inches away from the Porsche.

Haruka! He had forgotten about her completely, and hadn't told Michiru either. Well, he wouldn't have to put up with her after all. There really wasn't much she could do to him anymore. Except maybe wreck his car.

He sensed the aura of energy as she transformed, and there she came running down the hill, yelling at Neptune.

"Traitor!" she screamed. "You promised you would leave him to me!" Light formed between her fingers. "I'll kill him anyway, no matter what!"

"Don't be ridiculous, leave him alone! He is dead already." But Uranus was far too upset to listen to her partner's words. Neptune grabbed her shoulders and shook her. The light between Uranus fingers fizzled, as she finally started to calm down. But her arms were still raised in attack position.

"Uranus! Neptune! You'll die for that!" The eyes of Sailor Mars widened in horror.

Another car screeched on the highway, its noise drowning the first shouts of the four Inner Senshi racing towards them from the other direction. As Jupiter's Oak Evolution hit the ground, Uranus jumped aside, aborting her attack. So after all, their war would continue, there was no one to make them stop.

His death wouldn't change anything at all.

Somebody rushed out from the third car, a young woman with her long hair trailing behind her. Her appearance caused quite a stir; the Senshi looked at each other in surprise, as she transformed. "Stop this, all of you!" Pluto shouted, but no one was listening to her. "Join our side or be gone!" was Uranus' only answer.

The Inner Senshi didn't worry about Pluto's words anyway, naturally, they assumed her to join side with the Outers, and didn't trust anything she would say, at all. The fact that they were now three on four, the Outers most likely being the stronger party, caused an even bigger panic among the Inners. Attacks gleamed and crashed everywhere around him, and battle cries mingled with cries of pain.

The only person, who didn't seem to care about all the fighting going on around her stood motionless by his side, her eyes half-closed as if she was deeply hidden inside her thoughts. Since she was no more than a spirit of her physical form, who probably lived a peaceful life somewhere else, there was nothing she could do. But she seemed to know exactly how this would end. He hadn't been wrong, her eyes were glittering. Never had he seen tears in those eyes before.

If Usako watched this, she would cry, too. He hoped with all his heart that she did not.

Someone yelled his name. Usako's voice! But that couldn't be possible! Was he dreaming, or was she calling him from beyond? Was his mind playing a trick on him? He couldn't think clearly anymore, everything around him seemed as unreal as a dream. What was going on?

"Mamo-chan!" This time it was closer. He thought he heard her scream, but again he couldn't be sure, the noise was simply too loud.

The girl screamed again, as another one of the attacks hit her, who could tell which one it was, but nevertheless she ran on. She ran all the way down the hill, until she reached him, and still he didn't know if she was real.

But she was. As her small body collapsed onto his chest, he knew, she was.


	21. A Future Changed

**_Chapter 20 – A Future Changed_**

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She had caught a butterfly; carefully she folded her palm around him. All she wanted to do was look at him. Butterflies were always fluttering around so fast; you could never see how their wings looked. She was waiting for him to calm down, but he kept struggling in her hand. If he went on, he would rub off all of his color, and wouldn't be able to fly anymore.

Someone had told her once, that every butterfly was the spirit of a Sailor Senshi, since girls' hearts have wings. And making a girl's heart unable to fly was a crime.

So finally she let go. She watched him flutter away into the sunlight, until he was only a bright spot in the sky. She was wondering if he could fly all the way up to heaven. Probably yes! They seemed like beings from a different world anyway, so beautiful and so fragile.

She looked at her hand; some of the color had actually rubbed off. It looked strange on her hands, it did not belong there. Her hands seemed strange too, like they didn't belong to her either.

She looked up, and suddenly the sky seemed darker. Or maybe not darker, more like it had changed its color. But it was still blue. The sun was still shining.

Everything around her felt strange, like it was not real. She started to run, but she had the feeling she wasn't moving. It was like reality itself suddenly had gotten a crack? The places she had been to, the people she knew, did they really exist? Or were they just part of her imagination? She let out a scream! She had to get home at once; all she wanted to do was to crawl under her blanket to make this nightmare end. Nightmare?

Suddenly she realized what was wrong, it was the feeling you have when you're waking from a dream. As long as you dream, everything makes perfect sense to you. As soon as you start waking up, it all gets weird.

"Why don't you go back to sleep, my little one? Everything's all right, you only had a bad dream. Everything will be fine"

The voice was so comforting, so familiar. Although she felt far too drowsy to recognize it, she knew it belonged to a friend. At least she was sure it did! It had to be! All she wanted was to return to her dream, which hadn't been a nightmare at all. In her dream, she was a princess. She was a Sailor Senshi, fighting for love and justice. She was a schoolgirl, and had to get up early.

"Shshsh," said the voice again, who wasn't her mother. "You don't have to get up yet. Everything will be fine!"

Any moment in our life we make choices that alter the future. Any moment, something we wouldn't have expected might happen. Something we take for granted might shatter. A future we've already seen might never take place.

She slowly opened her eyes. No, it wasn't her mother, but the face of the young woman, who bent over her, was very familiar. There was no reason to worry.

She sat up. The room around her was familiar, too; it was the penthouse, where Puu lived, disguised as the college student Setsuna Meioh. She had been here before. She was back in the 20th century. Puu had brought her here while she slept, and all the weird stuff had been no more than a dream. But still something felt strange. If she only knew, what it was.

"Why did you bring me here, Puu?" she wanted to know. "What happened?"

"It is not easy to explain, Small Lady. But your help is needed here."

"Sure!" She jumped out of the bed. "Whatever demon attacks us, Sailor Chibimoon will punish it!"

"There is no demon attacking us now," Puu said. "But they might come, and Sailor Moon isn't here to lead us."

The sky was dark already, when Puu was finished talking. At first, Chibiusa didn't believe her. Everything sounded incredible. Her mother had been killed by Queen Metallia, and the future was changed? It couldn't be? All she understood was, that she couldn't go back home, there was no home anymore. Everything was different.

The next days she felt strange. The girl looking at her from the mirror was no more than a puppet, she ate, slept, walked around, but she wasn't a real person. One night she dreamed that she turned to dust. Would that happen, now that her mother was dead?

"You are real," Puu said, "you won't disappear, and you won't turn to dust! It was only a dream!"

"But if you hadn't come for me, I would've! I would have!"

"In a way, yes!" Puu picked the little girl up, and put her arms around her. "A moment before your mother died, I stopped time for an hour, and then I traveled to the future to get you. The future has changed now, in this life you can't return to it. Neither can I, the gates of time are locked to all of us, now."

Chibiusa started to cry. "I'll never see my parents again."

Puu held her close. "Of course you will," she said again, and again, until Chibiusa listened to her. "Someday, in a different lifetime, we'll all live in Crystal Tokyo, as it is our destiny. Perhaps it will be our next life already, who knows? It doesn't matter at all! What seems like a big change to us is nothing to the path of destiny. Time really means nothing."

"Then I want to die," Chibiusa cried, "and I don't want to be reborn, until I'm home!"

"Listen now," Puu said softly, but firmly. "I know how much this hurts, but you are a Sailor Senshi and you have a duty to fulfill, just like the rest of us. And you are our princess, and one day you will lead us. You understand that, don't you?"

"But I'm just a little girl!"

"That you are, and maybe it isn't fair, that you have to learn these things at such a young age, but it can't be helped. You must be strong, and you must grow up a little faster than other children."

Chibiusa nodded. "Please, Puu, let's call Mamo-chan, " she said.

Setsuna couldn't get a hold of Mamoru, although she tried to call him several times during the next days. She also tied to contact the other Senshi, via communicator, but it didn't work. How strange. The Senshi were always prepared, in case a demon would attack Earth. But now, they seemed to have vanished.

In her mind, Setsuna recalled that dreadful moment, when she had entered the cave together with Uranus and Neptune. She had called upon a forbidden power, one she could only use once a lifetime. Actually she wasn't allowed to use it at all. But this was different.

She knew she couldn't save Usagi that way; it was already too late for that. But she could open the gates of time to get Chibiusa before the future changed. Mamoru had the star-shaped clock with him and it ran on, although every other clock on Earth had stopped. It was as timeless as love itself. It was powerful enough to open the gates one last time.

Crystal Tokyo was different from the way she remembered it. At first she thought, it was only because, it was silent and motionless. But she was wrong. In less than a second, the Crystal Tokyo she knew wouldn't exist anymore. It would be reborn some other lifetime, but that path had not yet opened.

She found Chibiusa outside of the city where she had been playing on a meadow. With her confused eyes the little looked up into the sky, her hands stretched out before her. They were dirty with some kind of colored powder. As Setsuna touched Chibiusa with the clock, she could move again, but she fainted at once. So Setsuna took her away and saved the explanations for later.

She put the clock back, before she let time run again, but she left the scene of the battle. Her sole duty was to take care of Chibiusa now; the others would be strong enough to defeat Queen Metallia.

Almost a week had passed when Setsuna heard from the other Senshi again. She had had long talks with Chibiusa, who still didn't understand much of what was going on. But it seemed that the girl was calming down a little, although she missed her mother badly. And she didn't understand why they hadn't been able to contact her father.

"Where are we going?" Chibiusa wanted to know, as they got into the car.

"To Rei and the others. I know were they are going now. I could hear part of a talk between Mars and Mercury over the communicator."

"It's working again? Could you talk to them?"

"No. Their communicators are changing frequency all the time. That is so strange. Something must be terribly wrong."

"But why? Maybe there is a new enemy, and they don't want her to hear them talk."

"No!" Setsuna said again. "If there was an enemy, I would have sensed it long ago. And besides, our talk-line is completely safe. None other than the Senshi can receive it. It seems ...it seems there is some kind of quarrel among the Senshi!"

"There is what?" Chibiusa shouted. "The Senshi are fighting? No way!"

Chibiusa gave a scream. At once she had recognized the yellow Ferrari right before them on the street. "It's Haruka! Puu, make her stop! Maybe she knows what's going on."

It was hard not to lose the Ferrari. It was going very fast and Setsuna wasn't extremely fond of reckless maneuvers. Luckily, it simply followed the highway they were on, so they were able to keep on its trail for a while. But then they lost sight of it.

"Go faster, Puu!" Chibiusa yelled. "Go faster!"

Just when they thought, they had lost Haruka's car for good, they heard a screeching sound from somewhere in the darkness. A few moments later they saw the car standing at the side of the road, next to Mamoru's Porsche.

"Mamo-chan," Chibiusa shouted.

Setsuna stepped on the brake as hard as she could. Luckily there was no other car behind her, or things would have been difficult.

They heard shouts and battle cries in the darkness. There was a fight going on.

"Stay right here!" Setsuna ordered. She grabbed her pen, and rushed out of the car. But Chibiusa didn't listen. As soon as Puu was out, she ran after her.

Chibiusa couldn't believe it what she was seeing down the hill. The Senshi were fighting each other. They were really fighting each other as if they were enemies. Why on earth would they do such a thing?

In the light of their attacks, she could see Mamo-chan was down there, too; he lay motionless on the ground. What if he was hurt? What was all that dark stuff around him in the grass? She couldn't see! Someone was standing next to him, a girl who looked like she was made of glass.

Hotaru-chan! It was Hotaru-chan! She had to stop her! She couldn't let her take Mamo-chan away.

She screamed his name, as she ran downhill. Something hit her shoulder, but she ran on. Something smashed against her chest; it felt like a hard push, almost knocking her down, but she ran on. Something fiery and hot was all around her and then it was gone again. She ran on.

As she reached him, she felt a terrible pain spreading out through her entire body. She clutched her chest with both hands and felt something warm and sticky running down between her fingers. Her legs gave way under her body; she collapsed on his chest wrapping her small arms around him. She could feel that he was there, but she couldn't see him anymore. All was dark around her.

4


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